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The Gospel Doctrine lesson #20 ; scriptures Doctrine and Covenants 76 ; 131 ; 132:19–24 ; 137   The doctrine of the Kingdoms of Glory was always a bit of a conundrum for me. On the one hand, how merciful is the plan that provides a kingdom of glory for all of God’s children! On the other hand, there seemed to be so much I had to do, not only to obtain the Celestial Kingdom, but then also to fulfill the requirements to attain exaltation or highest degree of glory within the Celestial Kingdom. I mean, even the “honorable” sons and daughters who accepted Jesus Christ but simply weren’t valiant in their testimonies might end up with Terrestrial glory rather than Celestial ( D&C 76:75 ). What if that was me? I want to be with my son again! You see, I have a child who is Celestial. According to D&C 137:10 , “All children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the kingdom of heaven.” Knowing that my son was saved and living with his Heavenly Father brought me so much comfort as I endured the loss of my baby boy. Today, I find it brings me even more peace and assurance because now I understand that my son didn’t do anything to earn his place in the Celestial Kingdom. He’s saved because of the grace of God. As latter-day Saints we know that faith without works is dead ( James 2:26 ), but as Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “Salvation cannot be bought with the currency of obedience; it is purchased by the blood of the Son of God.” 1 We don’t earn our way to exaltation. Certainly there are things we need to do to obtain life eternal. There are keys that we need to open the gates to the celestial kingdom. That is why we have the ordinances of baptism, the endowment and temple marriage. But just as we cannot raise ourselves from the dead, we cannot save ourselves from spiritual death. No matter how many good works we perform, we will always be “unprofitable servants” ( Mosiah 2:21 ). So why do we try so hard? Jesus said “If ye love me keep my commandments.” We are not obedient to prove how good we are but to show we love him and desire his love in return. “Grace is a gift from God, and our desire to be obedient to each of God’s commandments is the reaching out of our mortal hand to receive this sacred gift….” 2 In other words, obedience keeps our hearts and minds constantly ready so we can be saved, hour by hour, day by day. Here is one example, my husband and I were having an argument late one night in bed. Shocking, I know. Being the kind of guy he is, my husband finished making his point, rolled over, and proceeded to drift off to sleep. I, on the other hand was furious and could not stop thinking about all the things I wanted to say but probably shouldn’t. Finally, I got out of bed in a huff, grabbed my phone and went downstairs to distract myself on Facebook. Almost instantly after getting online, I found myself tempted to look at things that I knew would not make me feel better about myself. I knew through experience that the best thing to do was to actively seek out church memes and videos. As I did this, I had a profound sense of peace come over me. My heart was changed and I had no more desire to be angry. All I wanted to do was go upstairs, make amends and forgive. Was I being obedient that night? Yes, I was. Was it my obedience that made me a good person? No, at the time I was angry and anything but holy. What made me good was God’s grace. Only His power could change me like water into wine. He made me better. My obedience was simply me choosing to love God more than the world. If we love God enough to reach out to Him and obey Him, even as imperfectly as we do, we are told that “This form of genuine love and gratitude will miraculously merge our works with God’s grace”. 3 The Lord will justify our good works and make us “more worthy of (his) love”. 4 The grace of God has the power to change who we are. It makes us strong enough to endure this life and good enough for the Celestial Kingdom in the life to come. We can become so like God that we will “see as (we) are seen, and know as (we) are known, having received of his fullness and of his grace” ( D&C 76:94 ). Like my son, in order to be saved, we simply need to accept the gift of grace. 1 Dieter F. Uchtdorf “The Gift of Grace” , General Conference 20152 Ibid3 Ibid4 “Savior, Redeemer of My Soul,” LDS Text: Orson F. Whitney, Music: Harry A. Dean, 1948  Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Understanding What Is Real , Sarah Street “…there’s this expectation that you have to get married and you have a family in order to be like Heavenly Father, and all that made me wonder why He even created me then, because I don’t have that. Because I’m not dating, because I’m not getting married, the ultimate end of my salvation is at stake, where I don’t have the ability to make it to the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. So that was very difficult for a long, long time. But the good thing that came out of all of that is that it forced me to develop my own relationship with Heavenly Father. It forced me to ask Him myself. Because I was mad at Him for a long time. You know, why am I like this? If you made this whole plan so that I can be like you, and yet I don’t even have the desire to do the main thing, which is going to make me like you, then why did you create me like this? But then through lots of prayer and lots of pondering and lots of visits to the temple, what ultimately I realized is that He loves me exactly how I am, and He’s going to figure out a way to help me. Whatever the end goal is, He’s going to find a way to get me there. That’s how Heavenly Father works. He loves His children so much no matter who we are. Eternity is a long time for Him to work with us. What exactly it looks like on the other side is still pretty ambiguous. So that’s been the good thing about all of that.” Coded In The DNA , Suzi Fei “We all have different strengths and different temperaments. No woman wants to be put in a box and told she must do this and be this, or else she is failing to live up to her eternal potential. That leads to a toxic and depressing culture of comparison rampant with feelings of inadequacy. Instead we should be celebrating each other’s strengths and capitalizing on the breadth of wisdom, experiences, and talents we share amongst us. The Celestial Kingdom I envision is full of glorious diversity—many different types of beings doing many different types of things, all working and growing together in beautiful harmony.”

Gospel Doctrine Lesson 21 During a Relief Society lesson, a ward member expressed how much she was looking forward to the Second Coming because things were so evil and bad in the world—that we were safe in the Church because we would be protected, that it was so much better here at church than in the world. While I understand her sentiment and appreciate that church is a sanctuary for her, I do recall thinking there’s a lot of greatness and goodness in the world—lots of good, kind people in and out of the Church doing good and kind things. Admittedly, the “us vs. the world” rhetoric frequently used by church members as a way to distinguish us from others makes me uncomfortable, especially when I see it used as a way to disengage or retreat from our communities out of ignorance or fear. Personally, when I make decisions based on fear, I feel powerless and small. And so, I’m trying to eradicate fear-based decisions and thinking from my life. It’s not an easy task. Yet, one way I overcome fear and feel grounded is to “stand in holy places,” as we are instructed in D&C 101:22 and D&C 87:8 . Holy places are usually equated to our congregations, chapels, temples, and homes. And while, yes, these are and can be holy places, I believe that there are other places—beyond physical buildings—that are and can be holy, too. To me, standing at the base of Zion Canyon or at the top of a mountain peak or when I’m encircled by a grove of aspen trees—when I am in these outdoor spaces, I feel immovable and grounded. These spots are holy to me; they are nature’s temples. Unfortunately, I can’t spend all of my time in these sacred outdoor spaces, but I do have the ability to build and transform places and spaces within my “real life,” too. For me, participating in the Women’s March in Salt Lake City was an example of me standing in a holy place. Surrounded by my sisters from a variety of backgrounds, ethnicities, beliefs, and ages, I walked and stood with them shoulder-to-shoulder in the Utah State Capitol Building, and I felt anything but powerless and small. As is the case with any holy place, either fleeting or permanent, there are always others who want to destroy and tear down that holiness, and sometimes, even the actual physical structure or space. I experienced this after the Women’s March. I witness it in regards to our natural resources and parks. I see it as religious freedom is threatened and thwarted around the world. But thankfully, rather than retreat in fear, we have the power and means to create, build, and transform spaces and places for the better throughout the world, and especially in our local communities. This creating, building, and transforming might be working towards more equitable educational experiences for all or cultivating community gardens or transforming workplace policies that better support families or helping to set up new homes for refugee families or getting to know our neighbors to form a more close-knit community or reconnecting with friends over a meal. The opportunities to create holy spaces within our spheres of influence are immense, particularly as we utilize our unique talents and skills. Recently, I asked Mormon women to share their latest accomplishments and good news related to their educational and professional pursuits in an online discussion thread. Woman after woman shared the amazing things she has recently accomplished—women who were the first to graduate from college in their families, women who returned to school to finish degrees, women bravely asking for raises, women getting accepted to certification and university programs, women writing and publishing books, women earning promotions or dream jobs, women making their business plans into money-making ventures, women leaving toxic work places, women tackling complex societal problems with creative thinking and determination, and so many more. That online thread was transformed into a holy place by not only the sharing and rejoicing in this good news, but by knowing we were standing together in support and celebration. The work of these women also follows a great legacy of LDS foremothers who did not fear despite persecution, and who instead built homes and hospitals and schools and museums and temples (and so much more) across a barren land. When I think on this legacy and of the current work of women, I have no need to fear, and I rejoice in standing with my sisters in the holy places we create together. Related Mormon Women Project Interviews A Worldwide Sisterhood , Judy Dushku “As a result, my growing up years were all about going someplace new, meeting new people, and finding a place to serve in the Church—whether on a welfare farm or building a chapel. My parents encouraged me to innovate within the Church. I am told that one day in a rented space where our small branch was meeting and many children were crying, I just stood up and offered to take care of the kids during Sunday School class and started a “primary.” It was always considered an adventure; it was never a chore or a burden or frightening. My parents perpetuated the attitude that we’d go where God wanted us—like the line in the hymn “Come, Come Ye Saints” that says “We’ll find a place which God for us prepared; where none shall come to hurt or make afraid” and then “all will be well.” I think that’s where I developed the attitude that there’s no place in the world that I’m afraid to go. That had a huge impact on me; I’m really fearless.” People Like Us Do Things Like That , Raquel Cook “If we’re a global church, we’ve got to get out there and we’ve got to recognize the beauty in other people and we’ve got to recognize what they have to offer us. Not just what we have to offer them. It doesn’t have to be about conversion. It can be about learning and recognizing that other people have things that we don’t have and other people have things they can teach us.” Other Related Women’s Voices We Are Creators , Mary Ellen Smoot “Creation is one of the characteristics that defines God… Brothers and sisters, we are children of God. Shouldn’t we be about our Father’s business? Shouldn’t we be creators as well?”

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #22 ;  Doctrine and Covenants 89  ,  Word of Wisdom ,  Doctrine and Covenants 49:19–21 ; 59:15–21 ; 88:124 I admit, I had already formulated what I was going to write about for this post before I read any of the references. I mean, it’s the Word of Wisdom— we all know what it’s about. And so I embarked on a desultory review and got stopped in my tracks. First, there are ALL SORTS of things in there I did not remember. And second, I think I might have to do a serious rethink of not just this post but also my life. Wow…maybe short for Word of Wisdom? So, a more humble me has divided my thoughts into things that made me squirm, life lessons and tending to the Spirit. The things I learned that made me squirm…and maybe we should all squirm a bit more. 1- We all have heard we are to eat meat “sparingly.” But I had completely forgotten that the following verse specifies what the definition of sparingly is: in times of “winter, or of cold, or famine.” I don’t think that’s how most of us eat without an intentional choice. I eat bacon whenever the diner waitress in my hometown calls me “honey”…which maybe has to do with famine of soul more than temporal famine…but can I justify that? 2- There’s a confusing list of grain designations. “Wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine…” Are we suppose to follow this structure? No idea. 3- When was the last time I was grateful? D&C 59 is listed as another resource for the Word of Wisdom and has a beautiful offering-the fullness of the earth is given to “please the eye and to gladden the heart” and “for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul.” And then goes on to say that we are to confess God’s hand in all things. For me, this meant taking a moment to pause. Notice the beauty. For me, color matters…the hot neon of a lotus blossom stem, the gorgeous coral color of a monkey’s bum, the emerald sheen of a pigeon’s neck. When I see these things, do I pause and express gratitude? The things that tied into my life lessons in India and that matter to your life too. When I moved to India, I basically became a vegetarian. I had been trying to eat meat sparingly, but in India it was just easier to go completely veg. NEWSFLASH: there is a wide range of completely delicious food with no meat. Most days it doesn’t even occur to me that I have not eaten meat. (Exception was when I was pregnant and felt like a cave woman ripping into protein via grilled chicken.) But I think the point is to be intentional. We can all make little changes which is better for us, and the earth, and our spiritual obedience. Also, where I live the food is grown locally. By necessity I became a person who ate “every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.” However, I was terrible at second part of that phrased. I was grumpy. I wanted my strawberries when I wanted my strawberries. So, there are blessings for those who do willingly and different blessings for those who are compelled to be humble. I am clear which camp I too-often fall. You can choose better. And then, this is the kicker. Perhaps it belongs solidly in the category of things that made me squirm but here goes: D&C 49:20 “But it is not given that one man should possess that which is above another, wherefore the world lieth in sin.” Um, what? This reference was listed in conjunction with section 89 since verse 19 says beats and fowls can be used…but then the next two verses are about inequality and waste. I live in India where many people have very little. How do I make choices that reflect the Lord’s preference for material equality? This does not have a simple answer, no matter what our circumstances or where we live. The things that tend to the spirit. The Our Heritage manual says the WOW doctrine was given “for the care of the body and spirit.” We all know that physical, mental and emotional are all tied. Perhaps we need to acknowledge the spirit is tied in there too? So, I have a 16 month old baby who has not slept through the night in a year. On good nights, she is up only twice. On bad nights, I am up about every hour. Sleep deprivation is real. (I did a simple test and found I have been functioning on 40% capacity. Good golly.) To say the least, my body and my spirit have been low. But if the WOW doctrine is for the spirit as well then we need to acknowledge that women need to pay attention to self-care. Research shows that typically most of us are bad at this. (And if you are good at this— don’t feel selfish. Don’t let the rest of us make you feel guilty. Celebrate!) As a young executive, I needed to make sure I prioritized church during busy travel seasons. Let’s acknowledge motherhood is a period of time where contradictory we need the greatest infusion of energy while we may have the least available to us. And all women, regardless of if we have children, are nurturers, but you can’t give from an empty bucket. (Yes, giving can help fill the bucket but sometimes that’s not what you need to fill it with.) So, if we are following the intentions of the Word of Wisdom, then we women need to practice self-care for our bodies and spirits. (Confession: I am terrible at this.) We need to let dishes sit and go read a book. We need to ignore some emails and go meditate quietly in the companionship of our Heavenly Parents and let them love us. (A tip from a wise friend.) We need to create something. We need a nap. We need to call a person from our tribe. These are some of my rejuvenaters. I don’t know what yours are, but I know the intent of the Word of Wisdom commands we take care of our spirits. So commit to doing one thing this week. Just one. Frankly, the Word of Wisdom surprised me with its richness and clear application for me to do better in my life. I hope you find nuggets of worth here as well. Related Mormon Women Project Interviews People Like Us Do Things Like That , Raquel Cook “Here’s one of my most oft-quoted experiences: Somewhere along the line in my travels, I stopped in England and enrolled at Oxford University for a master’s program. (People like us do things like that!) I lived in a flat with a Muslim, a Jew, and an atheist. It sounds like a bad bar joke. The four of us would sit at night in our kitchen. One was observing halal, one was observing the Word of Wisdom, one was observing kosher, and one was a vegan. So we’d have these conversations about who was eating what and why. And we all just respected what the others were doing. I got to be really, really close with the Muslim gal, Aisha, who was from Pakistan. She and I started reading scriptures together off and on. We’d one night read from the Qur’an and another night read from the Old Testament. Or we would pick a topic, like Mary the mother of Christ, or charity, or tithing, or some topic, and then we’d compare what our scriptures and prophets said about those things. We did that through the whole year. And there was never any attempt to convert. Only to understand. At the end of that year, she presented me with a beautiful Qur’an, and she said, ‘Thank you for such a special year. You have made me a better Muslim.’ I was like, ‘You have made me a better Christian. You have made me a better Mormon.’ It was one of the most profound and gratifying compliments I’ve ever received.” Other Related Women’s Voices The Sanctity of the Body , Susan W. Tanner “What would happen if we truly treated our bodies as temples? The result would be a dramatic increase in chastity, modesty, observance of the Word of Wisdom, and a similar decrease in the problems of pornography and abuse, for we would regard the body, like the temple, as a sacred sanctuary of the Spirit. Just as no unclean thing may enter the temple, we would be vigilant to keep impurity of any sort from entering the temple of our bodies.”

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #23 ; sources  D&C 88:118 ,  “A School and an Endowment”   The church has always been big on learning, encouraging education, promoting teaching of many kinds. And it has been successful. I have attended a number of esteemed institutions of learning, encouraged by church principles, and been engaged in education all my life, but if asked about the most influential educational influences in my life, I would name two: first, the church, second, my husband. Leaving the second aside for this occasion, I have said many times that all I ever really needed to know, I learned at church. Church teaching and activity and involvement have shaped my life and taught me things I use every day to my greater benefit: To work together in peace and harmony. To say yes when asked to do something. To hear and recognize revelation sent directly to me. To organize things. To speak in public. To sing in parts. To act on a stage. To perform in public without fear. To make things by hand. To teach a lesson. To dance the tango. To see a shape to life that has enabled good long-term decisions. To respect the person in charge so that when I am the person in charge I can expect respect. To use the talent in hand when there is not much talent available. To plan and to execute. To see life as a series of projects. To recognize and value the available community rather than seeking after another. To value knowing other church members who provide us with precious connections we could not manage in the real and greater world. To establish life-long, perhaps eternal, connections. To willingly accept responsibility for which I am not prepared, knowing that I will learn on the job. To recognize that we are all good enough and that together we can accomplish noble, great, impressive, and previously unimagined things.  As church members, we have the potential for a leg-up compared to others in our society. We have opportunities and responsibilities that others do not and we are the better for it. Looking back over these observations, I see that none of them are specifically gendered. All this was available to me, and I benefited from it as much or more than the young men in our ward. We live in multiple worlds. I certainly do. But these lessons from my early and continued days in the church help me to navigate my other worlds. Of course I also favor learning Greek and Latin, studying physics and poetics, being familiar with latter day scriptures as well as the wisdom of the ages. But I most value the daily skills that I learned in years of church attendance and participation, the practical lessons that we also find in the chosen scriptures for today such as, “Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.” ( D&C 88:124 ) Everything is church. Church experience influences everything we do and we are the better for it. Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Be Transformed by the Renewal of Your Mind , Mariana Castro Heath “I have learned to see people different than me as children of God. On one hand you have dead people teaching you all of these amazing and unexpected things about humanity and our millennial connection with the divine, but on the other hand you are living with all of these living people who also teach you other things about humanity that you never thought about. People who believe in completely different things than you do. People who are nomads from the desert, and they still think that they are descendants of these ancient people. People who cannot really see past tomorrow. People who live in a community and who are much more focused on family and tribal connections than they are on individualistic pursuits, for example. Living with these people and working with these people has taught me so much. Engaging with people so different from me expands my comprehension of what a human being can be, and how vast and diverse God’s love for all his children actually is.” A Well-Educated Heart , Marlene Blomquist Peterson “The Book of Mormon talks about ‘secret combinations’ who do works of darkness and are forces of destruction. Lately I’ve come to understand that this pattern for learning is a ‘sacred combination’ for releasing light. And this sacred combination starts with feeling desires in the heart for that which is good and beautiful and right, and then you teach obedience to correct principles — the mind and the science part, the law part. Combining the two together, heart and mind, releases light. And all of God’s greatest gifts are found in the fruits of that light, which gives us understanding, which fills us with joy and love and peace. God’s purpose is joy; his message is that we should learn by the Spirit. The way that we do it is with this sacred combination of heart and mind.” Other Related Women’s Voices Barbara B. Smith “Indeed, it is relevant! I must say unequivocally that Relief Society is pertinent in women’s lives today. The underlying purposes of this organization are twofold: First, to provide opportunity and stimulation for more and more effective compassionate service to be given by the sisters. Second, to provide opportunity for a varied program of ongoing education.” “Daughters in My Kingdom”: The History and Work of Relief Society , Julie B. Beck “We study our history to learn who we are. There is a worldwide hunger among good women to know their identity, value, and importance. Studying and applying the history of Relief Society gives definition and expression to who we are as disciples and followers of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Our faithfulness and service are signs of our conversion and commitment to remember and follow Him…The history of Relief Society teaches us that our Heavenly Father knows His daughters. He loves them, He has given them specific responsibilities, and He has spoken to and guided them during their mortal missions.”

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #24 :  Doctrine and Covenants 26 ; 28 ; 43:1–7 ; 50 ; 52:14–19 ,  “The Faith and Fall of Thomas Marsh”  and  Ezra Booth and Isaac Morley.” Mary Ann Evans’ novel, Romola , tells the story of a young woman in an unhappy marriage. On the eve of her wedding, she visits her estranged brother, who receives her coldly and gives her a message, a warning vision couched in frightening symbols and full of dark premonitions of danger relating to her upcoming marriage. Romola is confused by the obscure dream symbols and offended by her brother’s demeanor. She marries despite his warning and never hears from him again. “The revelation that might have come from the simple questions of filial and brotherly affection had been carried into irrevocable silence.”1 This story shows the often delicate balance between truth and personal relationships. The brother’s visionary message failed, not because it was incorrect, but because it was conveyed without love, patience, or humility. Without personal connection, the message might as well have been false. So what does this have to do with questions of Mormon doctrinal truth? In 1831, Mormon theology was in its infancy. New members did not recite a formal creed at baptism, and the church was only tenuously structured. But converts expressed a zealous commitment to their newfound faith, even when their understanding of gospel principles varied widely. Sections 50 and 52, revealed in May and June of 1831, grapple with some of the resulting confusion. Addressing the elders who would give the Mormon message to their own congregants and to the world, D&C 50 reminds them that their mission is to “preach my gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth” (v. 14). Here we find “a pattern” for their mode of teaching “that ye may not be deceived; for Satan is abroad in the land–” (D&C 52:14). Sections 50 and 52 describe how to avoid deception, identify false spirits, and embrace truth. But instead of revealing a concrete list of doctrinal tenets, they set truth and falsehood within a context of human intentions, behaviors, and relationships. These verses can be frustratingly vague if we’re looking for a checklist of what to preach, but they do illuminate how we should speak, pray, and relate to one another. In D&C 52:16, “He that speaketh, whose spirit is contrite, whose language is meek and edifieth, the same is of God.” “Contrite” here can be read as the opposite of “arrogant” — willing to be humbled, to be corrected, even willing to risk being sad. Warnings against error or false spirits are likewise set within the context of the human heart. D&C 50 does not warn us away from false doctrine as abstract heresies; rather it warns us against hypocrisy (v. 6)– a kind of falsehood that is acted out through human actions and relationships. Hypocrisy is not defined by what people believe or don’t believe, but how they speak of one truth while hiding a different reality of thoughts and feelings. This insistence on personal relationships is directed even to those who feel sure of what is true and what is false. D&C 50:33 advises the elders to speak for the truth and against error, “not with railing accusation, that ye be not overcome, neither with boasting nor rejoicing, lest you be seized therewith.” Overcome with what? Seized with what? With that very same false spirit that the elders claim to speak against. Falsehood (we could also call it deception, error, heresy, even apostasy) is portrayed here not simply as a matter of incorrect information or unclear doctrines, it is fostered by states of mind and heart, behaviors and relationships. Spiritual truth is found through meekness, diligent obedience, and frank conversation. The test of truth is found in the adverbs, in the how of the communication as much as the what. I’ve been in Relief Societies that embody this kind of truth, sisters who listen patiently to one another’s ideas during Sunday lessons, who teach with humility and “preach [the] gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth” (D&C 52:14). And this preaching doesn’t always come in texts and sermons. Sister Neill F. Marriott reminds us that nurturing relationships and embracing and speaking truth go hand in hand. She asks, “What if some of our traditions don’t have a place in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ? Letting go of them may require the emotional support and nurture of another, as it did for me.” As a new convert and bride-to-be, she traveled to Utah to be married in the temple, far away from her own family and traditions. She recounts: “Here I was, a stranger to Utah, going to stay in a stranger’s house before being sealed—for eternity—to a family I barely knew…As I stood at the front door of Aunt Carol’s house, I wanted to shrink away. The door opened–I stood there like a scared rabbit–and Aunt Carol, without a word, reached out and took me into her arms. She, who had no children of her own, knew–her nurturing heart knew–that I needed a place to belong. Oh, the comfort and sweetness of that moment! My fear melted, and there came to me a sense of being anchored to a spiritually safe place.” The word “apostasy” comes up frequently in discussions of truth and falsehood. Its etymology comes from the Greek ‘to stand apart,’ and refers to those who distance themselves from the beliefs and congregations of an official church. But within the context of Doctrine and Covenants 50 and 52, “standing apart” can take on another possible meaning. When we distance our hearts from another, we are “standing apart.” When we are zealous in our search for the truth but forget about the people around us, we limit our very access to the spirit of truth. When we instead create spiritually safe places for each other, these places of belonging welcome the spirit of truth as well. 1 – George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans), Romola , p. 1732 – Neill F. Marriott, What Shall We Do? , April 2016 General Conference.

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #25 ;  Doctrine and Covenants 84:33–44 ; 121:34–46 ,  Doctrine and Covenants 107 In the middle of my junior year at BYU, I was called as a missionary to serve in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I knew it was what the Lord wanted me to do, but I had no idea how I—the girl who felt guilty every time I read about Alma wishing he were an angel so he could declare repentance—could be a missionary. I didn’t want to call anyone to repentance. Yet, once I was set apart and put on that black and white name-tag, I knew that something was different. I felt authority and the power of God as I worked to serve the people of Buenos Aires. There were a few times on my mission that I was absolutely awestruck by this power that I knew did not originate in me. But no one ever called it priesthood power. Then in April of 2014, Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave his talk “The Authority and Keys of the Priesthood,” and I felt a little like Homer Simpson with a giant DOH over my head. Of course that was priesthood power. Elder Oaks explained that anyone called and set apart in a calling was given priesthood authority and power to operate in that calling—women as well as men. Relief Society Presidents are given priesthood authority to operate in their callings, as are Elder’s Quorum Presidents. He reminded us that, “…priesthood power blesses all of us. Priesthood keys direct women as well as men, and priesthood ordinances and priesthood authority pertain to women as well as men.” This talk was not necessarily remarkable for its innovation, but perhaps more for its timing. No apostle had spoken about priesthood in such expansive terms over the pulpit for a good fifty years. Too often our discussions of priesthood rotate around offices and responsibilities of male priesthood holders and for the most part leave women out of the discussion more than a “I’m grateful I can receive a priesthood blessing” (not to diminish the importance nor the efficacy of priesthood blessings). As former Relief Society General President Linda K. Burton exulted , “We rejoice that we are privileged to live in this season of the history of the Church when questions are being asked about the priesthood.” In that talk, Elder Oaks, offered a second witness to a powerful truth proclaimed to that smaller BYU women’s conference audience by President Burton. She said, “We hope to instill within each of us a greater desire to better understand the priesthood.” Elder Oaks, followed it up reinforcing “…that needs applies to all of us.” Surely President Burton and Elder Oaks have a better grasp on priesthood than I do, but their grasp is likewise limited. And they both recognize that. Priesthood is not just contained in a list of offices and responsibilities; it is the power by which the earth was created. It continues “…without beginning of days or end of years” (D&C 84:17). Understanding priesthood is a worthy pursuit of a lifetime and into the eternities. When Joseph Smith took the sewing circle started by Mary Cook and Sarah Granger Kimball in 1842 and gave them “something better,” he organized this new organization to “move according to the ancient Priesthood.” (28 April and 31 March 1842.) The Female Relief Society of Nauvoo restored an ancient woman’s organization. Joseph reinforced the essential nature of this women’s organization saying that the Relief Society and the introduction of complete temple rites perfected the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ.1 In Eliza R. Snow’s meticulous notes of the sixth meeting of the Relief Society on April 28, 1842, we hear Joseph offering the sisters power and authority through the structure of the Relief Society–“I now turn the key to you in the name of God, and this society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time—this is the beginning of better days to this society.” The Relief Society offered women a formal structure to receive priesthood authority and prepared women for the ordinances of the temple. Revealed a decade earlier, the revelation recorded in section 84 of the Doctrine and Covenants supports this connection of priesthood power and ordinances leading to the temple. In verse 21, the Lord declares, “In the ordinances is godliness made manifest.” As we choose to receive priesthood ordinances we learn about the character of God and our Savior, how to be godly ourselves, and they show us the path to return to our Heavenly Parents through our Savior’s atonement. Through the ordinance of baptism we are made clean as our Heavenly Parents are clean and we enter into a covenant relationship with Christ. When we receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost we are sanctified as they are—literally made holy. Though I won’t enumerate specific covenants, when we make temple covenants we demonstrate that we are committed, learning, and loyal. When we are sealed, we are joined together with a spouse as one—as are our Heavenly Parents. Disciples make all of the covenants we can make. Women receive both Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthood ordinances and administer Melchizedek priesthood ordinances in the temple. Nineteenth-century Relief Society General President Bathsheba W. Smith reminded the sisters that Joseph Smith “…wanted to make of us, as the women were in Paul’s day, ‘A kingdom of priestesses.’ We have the ceremony in our endowments as Joseph taught.”2 Priesthood, Relief Society, and the temple are all essential. They lead us with power through mortality on a path that returns us to our Heavenly Parents. 1 – Sarah Granger Kimball, “Auto-biography,” Woman’s Exponent, Sept. 1, 1883, p. 51.2 – The First Fifty Years of Relief Society , 314 fn. 6.

Gospel Doctrine Lesson 26 The First Presidency formally called the first two single sister missionaries, Inez Knight and Lucy Jane Brimhall, in 1898. Their call was in response to requests from the European and Californian mission presidencies to send female missionaries. President McMurrin wrote from England that there had been “instances in which our sisters gained attention in England, where the Elders could scarcely gain a hearing.” His letter likely referred in part to Elizabeth McCune, who had moved temporarily from Utah to Europe with her husband for business purposes, but who assisted her missionary son in England. When anti-Mormon literature began being distributed which painted Utah women as slaves, Elizabeth was invited to speak publicly about her experience as a Mormon woman. She later recorded her words, “Our husbands are proud of their wives and daughters; they do not consider that they were created solely to wash dishes and tend babies; but they give them every opportunity to attend meetings and lectures and to take up everything which will educate and develop them. Our religion teaches us that the wife stands shoulder to shoulder with the husband.” McCune spoke at several meetings after this one, with very positive reception, before she and her husband moved on to Italy. Inez accepted the call and reported to England with Lucy Brimhall. Her journal describes her first street meeting, where the missionaries would preach from a street corner. “On a busy corner we formed a circle, sang a hymn, one offered prayer then we sang again. A large crowd stopped to listen. The special meetings to be held next day were announced and I recalled a sickly feeling when Bro. McMurrin announced that ‘real live Mormon women’ would speak next day.” Inez lacked confidence in public speaking, and likely felt humbled or worried by the responsibility to represent all Mormon women. Elizabeth McCune had felt similar reservations before her. When she was first asked to speak she thought to herself ‘O, if we only had one of our good woman speakers from Utah to take advantage of this grand opportunity what good it might do!’” Both Elizabeth and Inez found their voices and achieved success, reaching audiences the Elders could not, and negating anti-Mormon claims of female oppression by their very presence: intelligent, fashionably-dressed, independent, and educated. The tradition of formally-called female missionaries continues and has expanded to this day, thanks to the clear success of the early sisters. What if a modern Mormon woman stood on that street corner, as it was announced that she, “a real live Mormon woman” would address the crowd? What does a real live Mormon woman look like today? Certainly in Inez’s day, there existed already great diversity among Mormon women: there were Mormon women from dozens of countries, rich and poor, single and married, converts and lifelong members, in Utah and abroad. Today that diversity has only increased. How do “real live Mormon women” preach the Gospel today, and represent our people? We be real. I tried once forcing myself into a particular type of “member missionary” box to bring people into the church. It came from a genuine desire to bless their lives and serve God. But it served no one! It wasn’t real. When I instead learned to let the Gospel manifest itself through my life—my work, my children, my garden, my travels, my service, my friendship, my hobbies, my smile—“doors” began opening to me without my ever knocking. And other doors remain closed: they were never mine to walk through. Some other “real live Mormon woman” – she’s going to let the Gospel of Christ weave itself into her “real” life and thrive in her own way, and they’ll open to her. Elizabeth McCune wrote that her experiences left her with an “ardent desire to speak for herself.” She meant that she no longer wanted to leave all the speaking to other people. She wanted to represent. But I draw from her words a new missionary mantra: speak for yourself. Be real, as you share what the Gospel or the Church have meant to you and how they fit into your life and family. I guarantee they don’t look the same way in my life as in yours. But it’s real stories and it’s real lives that turn hearts to Christ. References and Further Reading: Lelegren, Kelly, “Real, Live Mormon Women”: Understanding the Role of Early Twentieth-Century LDS Lady Missionaries” (2009). All Graduate Theses and Dissertations , Utah State University. 415. Women With A Mission , Church History Website McBride, Matthew, “I Could Have Gone Into Every House.” LDS Church History website. July 10, 2012. “The evolution of LDS ‘lady missionaries’ and a gender-integrated missionary force,” Deseret News . April 26, 2016. Mormon Newsroom Video on the early female LDS missionaries. Related Mormon Women Interviews Dressed Like A Queen , Rosie Card “Heavenly Father called you, and your style and your quirks and your personality, and we should maintain that.” Other Related Women’s Voices “Stand Tall and Stand Together,” Sheri Dew “Every time we strengthen our own testimony or help someone else strengthen theirs, we build the kingdom of God. Every time we mentor a newly baptized sister or befriend a wandering soul without judging her or invite a nonmember family to home evening or give a Book of Mormon to a colleague or lead a family to the temple or stand up for modesty and motherhood or invite the missionaries into our homes or help someone discover the power of the word, we build the kingdom of God.”

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #27 ; Doctrine and Covenants 101 ;  103 ;  105   Honestly, I mostly felt overwhelmed in reading through the Saints efforts to establish Zion. It seemed one upheaval after another in moving places, mobs, changing winds, respite, miracles, moving again. It wore me out just reading. For me to glean something that may be beneficial to me (and hopefully to you), I’ve narrowed it down to a few ideas. The Sunday School manual doesn’t mention them, but there were also women and children who marched the 1,000 miles with Zion’s Camp with the expressed mission to help their fellow Saints. The exact count is not known as records are conflicting but there may have been as many as 11 women and 11 children. The stories we know of them are a mix of exactly the sort of thing you would expect, charming, and some completely bold and inspiring. The women were part of the support crew for the camp (as you would expect in that time), there was one couple that fell in love along the way (charming)— but the bold and inspiring was what happened both at the end of the journey and beyond. As the Camp approached the area where they might skirmish, the Prophet ordered the women stay behind— but they protested. The Prophet then declared if they were willing to endure a siege they could come along— and so they did. The boldness to say, “This is what we prefer our lot and role to be,” and the courage to contradict what was given to them, and then face their lot was soundly impressive to me. Also impressive was the fact that except for the one woman who died of cholera, all the women who made the Zion’s Camp trek made it to the Salt Lake Valley. We talk about how that experience was a development process for future male leaders (several prophets, many of the first 12 apostles called and all of the first 70 were part of the Camp)— but the refining process of the journey also developed the women’s characters as well. The women who marched then were able to be stalwart through much more— and make it to the “promised land.” Do you know when it came time for the army to fight, there was no need? As Joseph Smith recorded, “It began to rain and hail. … The storm was tremendous; wind and rain, hail and thunder met them in great wrath, and soon softened their direful courage and frustrated all their designs to ‘kill Joe Smith and his army.’ …They crawled under wagons, into hollow trees, filled one old shanty, etc., till the storm was over, when their ammunition was soaked.” Wow. For me, the lesson was clear— we are looked after. Sometimes this divine presence is miraculous and sometimes it is not obvious, but our Heavenly Parents ALWAYS love us. If I can maintain this lens, then I can see my life in a much more reassuring and robust context. Sometimes I forgot that I have Heavenly Parents on my side. “On a particularly difficult day…what would this world’s inhabitants pay to know that heavenly parents are reaching across the same streams and mountains and deserts, anxious to hold them close?” (Elder Holland) There is a painting by Caitlin Connelley that is called “She Became Herself With Years” — I hung it on my wall…well, to remind myself to quit being a pansy. In other words, so that I would not see adversity as a downer or “why me?” or “what are you thinking, Lord?” or “you really think I can hack this?”— but rather a defining process and opportunity for me to slough off the stuff that needs to come off…and we all know we got stuff. The way the D&C phrases it is a comment from God that says, “And my people must needs be chastened until they learn obedience, if it must needs be, by the things which they suffer” (D&C 105:5–6). I think of obedience as simply becoming my best self…becoming Godlike. After reading about the Saints’ efforts and tribulations, I am humbled. Though, truly, there is no sense comparing their trials to ours. Or any friend’s or neighbor’s or stranger’s trials to ours. I think as women we have the tendency to do this which means our compass is always a moving target. If we say “my life is easier/harder, better/worse” blah blah than anyone’s— we miss the point. Our life is OUR LIFE. And the experiences we are tailor-made to offer the refining we need, if we accept the challenge to learn and grow. And growing pains is a real thing. But, the key, and this is a Big Key— is the result of that pushing and pain is we get to where we want to be. In the case of the Saints in these days, their persecutions drove them to settle in what Joseph prophetically identified the area as the Valley of Adam-ondi-Ahman, the “place where Adam shall come to visit his people” (D&C 116:1). Wow. While they didn’t even know it, there was a grand plan to move them closer to God. After reading this lesson and praying about what I could glean from it, I humbly offer— let the vicissitudes of life move us closer to our Heavenly Parents and our own divine heritage. That’s it.

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #28 ; Doctrine and Covenants 121:1–33 ;  122 ;  “ Within the Walls of Liberty Jail” ; “Peace and Violence among 19th-Century Latter-day Saints” ;  “Waiting for the Word of the Lord” ; and  “Preparation of Joseph Smith: Strengthened by Trials.” In October of 1838, Governor Boggs of Missouri signed Executive Order 44, also known as the extermination order . “The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace–their outrages are beyond all description.” This order legalized the terrorizing and murdering of Mormons in the state of Missouri (notably, the Order wasn’t rescinded until 1976 ). Three days after the Order was signed, a Missouri militia raided the village of Haun’s Mill. Homes and businesses were destroyed, 17 people were killed and 13 injured. Some of the essays and articles provided in the Church manual detail the horrors of children being murdered and of people being shot en masse. Does the report of 13 people injured in Haun’s Mill include the women who were raped? I suspect not. I suspect it focuses on flesh wounds. Sexual assault is a difficult thing to talk about and can be hard to prove. There has been speculation as to whether or not women were raped during the Missouri-Mormon war. The general conscience now amongst Church historians is, like so often in war, rape was used as a weapon against our early sisters. It’s believed that Eliza R. Snow was raped sometime in 1838. Some historians have theorized the scope and violence of the attack left Eliza unable to have children, and speculate this is a contributing factor to her being a plural wife of Joseph Smith, and later Brigham Young. Hannah Kinney Johnstun ’s great-great-grand nephew believe she was raped based on family stories, the wording of her patriarchal blessing and a census report. And then there are the the affidavits of Hyrum Smith, Parley P. Pratt and Brigham Young presented to the municipal court of Nauvoo in 1843 detailing the atrocities (the affidavits are explicit in detail and can be disturbing to read). If we are going to provide statistics of atrocities done to the early saints, why is sexual assault not mentioned? Is it any less impacting or wounding than being shot in the arm? Is it just too horrific to talk about? Do we feel tarnished by this part of our history? Ashamed that it happened to our foremothers? Is it prudery? What is silencing us from talking about sexual assault in our history? I do not fault our foremothers for not voicing their sexual assaults. It is an incredibly difficult thing to talk about when you have resources and support, but these women were living in a time and community that did not talk of such things. We, however, as we tell the stories of our pioneer sisters, do know better. How would our Mormon community change if we were more willing to learn about and give voice to the realities of these women’s stories? Would we be more compassionate toward and understanding of survivors of sexual assault today? Would we stop looking for ways to blame the victim? I do want to note Church policy is very clear that sexual assault is the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim. “Victims of abuse should be assured that they are not to blame for the harmful behavior of others. They do not need to feel guilt. If they have been a victim of rape or other sexual abuse, whether they have been abused by an acquaintance, a stranger, or even a family member, victims of sexual abuse are not guilty of sexual sin.” Even with a clear policy, church culture, family dynamics and societal beliefs can lead survivors to blame themselves or believe that they are damaged and of little value – like a chewed up piece of gum . Perhaps, if these stories were part of our known history, victims of sexual assault would feel less alone. They would have examples of resiliency and healing (hopefully). Perhaps we would create a culture that supports victims and doesn’t tolerate abuse. And perhaps it wouldn’t have taken until October of 2016 for BYU to recognize that rape victims should not be held, in any way, accountable for the actions of their assailants. We cannot create that culture unless we are willing to talk about sexual assault. Shame researcher, Brene Brown , says that shame needs three things to grow – judgement, silence and secrecy. As a survivor of sexual assault , I can tell you that the shame of being sexually assaulted was more damaging than the assault. It was shame that told me that I was damaged and worthless. It was shame that kept me silent. It is shame that keeps all of us silent. Shame is like the secret combinations that destroyed the Nephites and Jaredites . It methodically destroys self-worth and undermines the knowledge of our divinity. The Lord doesn’t work in secret. In fact, He says in Alma, “I will bring forth out of darkness unto light all their secret works and their abominations…” ( Alma 37:25 ). Telling these stories and meeting them with compassion and empathy is doing the Lord’s work. What does sexual assault have to do with Joseph in Liberty Jail? The words spoken by Joseph in his dark days of the soul are relatable to the feeling of being imprisoned by the shame of sexual assault. “O God, where art thou?…let thy hiding place no longer be covered; let thine ear be inclined; let thine heart be softened, and thy bowels moved with compassion toward us. Let thine anger be kindled against our enemies; and, in the fury of thine heart, with thy sword avenge us of our wrongs” (D&C 121:1-5). The Lord’s response to Joseph is one of the most comforting found in scripture, and when read through the lens of sexual assault it is all the more profound. “My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment…” (D&C 121:7). “Behold, mine eyes see and know all their works, and I have in reserve a swift judgment in the season thereof, for them all…(v. 25). “..If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren…If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters…and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb…if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee…” (D&C 122:5-7). Does this not sound like the experience of many sexual assault victims? The validity of their claim challenged. Their character and behavior judged. The Lord concludes, ”…know thou, my [daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way…fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever” (122:7-9). The Lord reminds Joseph that Christ himself suffered greatly – more than any other. Even Christ himself from the cross called out, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” ( Matt. 27:46 ) I often think about the strengthening angel Luke describes in the Garden of Gethsemane with Christ. I have to believe that we are afforded the same. I have felt the presence of my ancestors as I’ve walked this mortal journey. I also know that when we suffer our Heavenly Parents and the Heavens weep . I hope that we are brave enough to hear and share these stories of our foremothers. I hope that we are empathetic enough to hear the stories of sexual assault from the women in our lives. I hope that we are courageous enough to share, with trusted individuals, our stories of sexual assault. We can create a culture that supports victims of sexual assault one story at a time. If you are a victim of sexual assault, know that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you. The church does provide counseling services . I also recommend RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) . And remember the atonement of Jesus Christ is real and can heal all things. It’s On Us is a wonderful organization that advocates for victims sexual assault. Mormon Women Project Interviews of Sexual Assault Rescued from Exploitation , Stephanie M. Larsen A Formula for Overcoming Abuse , HDH The 3 Browns , Deondra, Desirae and Melody Brown Knowing Her Worth , Elizabeth Smart Accounting for the Debt: A Sexual Abuse Collection

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #29 ; Doctrine and Covenants 124:1–21, 87–90, 97–110 ;  126 .   Many of us are familiar with this lesson’s story of malaria-ravaged Brigham Young and Heber C. Kimball rising from their mission-bound wagon to shout “Hurrah, Hurrah for Israel!” to encourage their sick wives. A less commonly shared story is what happened at home when the wagon pulled away. Brigham’s wife, Mary Ann Young, left that scene and worked to provide for her seven sick children, one of which was only several days old. They ran out of food after two months, and Mary Ann, still suffering from malaria, made many stormy winter crossings of the Mississippi River in a rowboat to collect small allowances of food from the tithing office. She lost her lodgings and lived in a horse stable for a time, taking in washing and sewing to scrape by. Eventually, she erected a rudimentary log cabin that lacked doors and windows. The sacred sacrifices many Nauvoo women made to send husbands on missions allowed for phenomenal church growth. Yet female efforts to build the kingdom of God were not limited to behind-the-scenes suffering while the men acted. Women acted in their own right, fundraising for the temple, serving the needy, and forging spiritual strength. Women in Nauvoo actively contributed to the construction of the temple. Mercy Fielding Thompson led a dual-continent, women-organized penny drive that brought in over $2,000. The funds paid church debts, bought glass for the temple’s windows, and purchased a construction crane for the temple. Sarah Granger Kimball was particularly creative in her temple fundraising efforts. Following her son’s birth, she asked her prosperous non-member husband what he thought the child was worth. When he agreed that the boy was worth at least a thousand dollars, she argued he was half hers and declared she wanted to pay tithing on her $500 portion. After joking with Joseph Smith about the boy’s status as church property, Kimball’s husband deeded property to the church worth more than she requested. Further, many women sold or donated cherished possessions to raise needed funds for temple construction, and sisters with limited financial resources donated their labor through washing, sewing, cooking, and providing boarding for temple workers. I love these women’s examples of innovation and proactivity. These were women that did not wait to be handed an assignment; these were women that considered issues that mattered deeply to them and used their resources and intellect to make a difference. Beyond these efforts, Nauvoo was the era when Mormon women truly stepped forward in unity to do the Lord’s work through the organization of the Relief Society. The Relief Society came about because two women proactively sought ways to support the building of the temple, organized a sewing society, and then presented their constitution to Joseph Smith. He praised their constitution, but asserted that the Lord had “something better” in mind than a written constitution. He wanted to organize the women “after the pattern of the priesthood.” From the spark of their idea, Joseph received the inspiration to form the Relief Society, an organization I adore for its flexibility and vision as it continuously adapts to meet the needs of its sisters and the world at large. To me, this is what Relief Society is all about – big ideas, small offerings, and God creating “something better” when we work together. I love reading the Nauvoo Relief Society Minute Book and seeing this principle in action. In it, we see women recognizing needs in their community and pooling their talents and resources to address them. To improve their effectiveness, the Nauvoo Relief Society organized the “necessity committees,” the precursor to our current visiting teaching program, which visited women in their homes to assess their spiritual and temporal needs, and solicited donations from those able to give. President Emma Smith’s charitable vision went beyond providing donated goods. The Relief Society helped women find employment, arranged for elderly widows’ gardens to be planted, and even organized a boycott of employers that shorted widows on their wages. Yet the Relief Society was more than a successful charitable organization. At its founding meeting, Emma rejected the name of “Benevolent Society” because she recognized that this organization had a broader vision than the benevolent societies prevalent at the time. The sisters understood they were working to build God’s kingdom on earth through their efforts. Relief Society was a place to receive instruction. It was a place to sing, testify, serve, practice spiritual gifts, prepare for temple blessings, and discuss how to apply gospel principles in their complicated circumstances. I am grateful for the spiritual legacy left me by the women of Nauvoo, and the models they have provided me for innovation and proactivity in the ways I serve the Lord. Through my participation in the Relief Society, I can bring my desires to do good (that are frequently larger than my own abilities) and work in unity with my sisters to transform these desires into “something better.” REFERENCES Women of Nauvoo, by Richard and Jeni Holzapfel, published by Bookcraft 1992 Daughters in My Kingdom The First Fifty Years of Relief Society: Key Documents in Latter-day Saint Women’s History , edited by Jill Mulvay Derr, Carol Cornwall Madsen, Kate Holbrook, and Matthew J. Grow, published by The Church Historian’s Press, 2016. Our Heritage Take Special Care of Your Family  The Nauvoo Temple: Built by Faith and Community Related Mormon Women Project Interviews A Worldwide Sisterhood , Judy Dushku “After attending high school in Michigan, I went to BYU, which was not a great fit. It seemed like everyone was from California or Utah and I felt like an outsider. I was excited to move to Boston for graduate school, and I was delighted by the diversity there and the Cambridge University Ward. I studied at The Fletcher School [at Tufts University] and planned to work for the State Department, but then the Vietnam War came along and blew my world apart. It raised a million issues, especially with my father being a military man. I didn’t know who to trust or what information was truth versus lies. I was going to get a PhD, but I instead decided to take a year off and I never went back. I think that was a turning point; I became much more of a questioner and became parts of groups that opposed the war. After that, Johnson’s Great Society shaped me, too. The women’s movement—around the time of the Equal Rights Amendment—became important in my life also. All these issues were on our minds around the question “What’s our place?” At that point [in 1974], a group of us—Mormon women in Cambridge—decided to start Exponent II, a revival of the Woman’s Exponent newspaper published by early members of the Relief Society [from 1872-1914]. That has played a big role in me feeling like the Church was always mine, because if something offended me at church, I could call up those women and talk it through. I still stay in touch with them. At about the same time, a very enlightened Institute Director also asked us to do a series of classes on the roles of women in the Church. That legitimized our more private dialogues and brought many more men and women into the discussion.”

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #30 ; Doctrine and Covenants 2 ;  124:25–55 ;  127 ;  128 ; Joseph Smith—History 1:36–39    This lesson focuses on the introduction of family history and temple work in the restored church. It describes some of Joseph Smith’s teachings about it and reminds us of its purpose and importance—that “the greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead.” (History of the Church, 6:312–13) For me, this lesson has a natural draw. I fell in love with family history as a student at BYU and have loved it ever since. I’ve spent years tracing my own family and helping others find their ancestors, working as a professional genealogist, writing for family history magazines, speaking at conferences and now writing for FamilySearch . There are lots of things I love about family history. I love the feeling of solving a mystery and discovering something new as I sift through old records. Of course, finding names and dates provides the basic information to have temple work done for our ancestors. Family history and its purposes go beyond this though. I also love the sense of identity I get as I gather stories of my ancestors, the understanding of where I came from—of my family and my roots. I think this is especially important for me as a woman since often the history I learn in books is filled with men. I am reminded that while our country’s and church’s history are very weighted toward men, my family history has just as many women as men! In our own family histories though, we face some of the same barriers and lack of information about female ancestors that we see in other histories. Our society always has placed more emphasis on men and their stories and has placed men at the center of public life. This means that information about our female ancestors can often be more scarce and difficult to find. They are much less likely to have compiled histories written about them or to have their names included in records ranging from probate to census records (before 1850, census records only included “head of households”). Instead of accepting and perpetuating this, we need to make a conscious effort to correct this imbalance. This requires a little more effort as we avoid the urge to simply default to the men’s stories that already exist and instead hunt out women’s stories and make them part of the conversation too. Like other families, the histories that survive in my family are largely about men. I take this as a call to action. There isn’t a great need for me to retell stories of these men. But there is a great need for me to research and share the stories of my female ancestors. That is a contribution that I can make that can make a lasting difference for my family. As I have done this, the stories of my female ancestors have inspired me and enriched my life. One of the first ancestors I learned about was Sarah Ann Bean. Sarah Ann joined the church as a child when her family, who lived in Quincy, took in church members fleeing across the Mississippi. She later married William Wallace Casper who joined the Mormon Battalion, leaving Sarah Ann to cross the plains alone with a new baby. She and her younger brother set off across the plains, reaching the Salt Lake Valley in one of the earliest companies. Her story of faith was so meaningful to me that I named one of my daughters Sarah Ann. I also spent a lot of time with my great-grandmother, Dolly, and wrote her story. Dolly’s story was a little more unconventional. She eloped with a man she barely knew when she was fifteen and spent her life moving from community to community, often struggling to make ends meet. Her children were baptized as teenagers when an uncle realized nobody else had baptized them and took them down a local creek to get it done. I learned to admire Dolly’s perseverance in difficult circumstances and her sense of humor made it fun to collect her stories and write them down. So if you’re wondering what contribution you can make to your family history, consider this one: uncover the stories of your female ancestors. Once you know them, share them. Tell them to your children, send them to your relatives, give them as examples in your sacrament meeting talks and when you make a comment in Sunday School. Stories of inspiring and enterprising men fill the pages of everything from town and history books to our gospel doctrine manual. Together we can help bring stories of inspiring and enterprising women to light. But first, we have to find them. Related Mormon Women Project Interviews A Pioneer in Paris , Josiane Lazeras “I’ve done genealogy work for my mother’s Swiss side and I was astonished and happy to see that many of my ancestors were named Isaac, Abraham, Jacob, or Moses. There really has been a spiritual heritage that has enriched me, I think. Then, after my conversion, the Church has enriched me spiritually as well.” Other Related Women’s Voices Here to Serve a Righteous Cause , Carol F. McConkie ” The early Church leaders and pioneers of the past pressed forward with heroic courage and determined faithfulness to establish the restored gospel and build temples where ordinances of exaltation could be performed. The pioneers of the present, meaning you and me, also press forward in faith, ‘to labor in [the Lord’s] vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men.'” Is Faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ Written in Our Hearts? , Linda K. Burton “Mary Lois Walker was married at age 17 to John T. Morris in St. Louis, Missouri. They crossed the plains with the Saints in 1853, entering the Salt Lake Valley shortly after their first anniversary. On their journey they had suffered the privations typical of other Saints. But their sufferings and adversity did not end when they reached the Salt Lake Valley. The following year Mary, then 19, wrote: ‘A son was born to us….One evening when he was two or three months old…something whispered to me, ‘You will lose that little one.’ During the winter the baby’s health declined. ‘We did all we could,…but the baby grew steadily worse….On the second of February he passed away…and so I drank the bitter cup of parting from my own flesh and blood.’ But her trials were still not over. Mary’s husband was also stricken, and three weeks after losing her baby, he died. Mary wrote: ‘So was I, while yet in my teens, bereft in the short period of 20 days, of my husband and my only child, in a strange land hundreds of miles from my blood kin and with a mountain of difficulty before me…and I wished that I too, might die and join my loved one[s].’ Mary continues: ‘One Sunday evening I was taking a walk with my friend….I was reminded of [my husband’s] absence and my intense loneliness, and as I wept bitterly I could see, as it were in mental vision, the steep hill of life I should have to climb and felt the reality of it with great force. A deep depression settled upon me, for the enemy knows when to attack us, but our [Savior, Jesus Christ,] is mighty to save. Through…the help given of the Father, I was able to battle with all the force which seemed to be arrayed against me at this time.’”

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #31 ;   Doctrine and Covenants 131:1–4 ; 132:4–33 ;  “Our Hearts Rejoiced to Hear Him Speak.”   When we teach D&C 132 in Sunday School we usually just focus on the first part, the part about eternal marriage. I have yet to be in a class where we’ve tackled the second part of D&C 132, the law of plural marriage. Yet, it is clear as you read section 132 that both these laws—eternal marriage and plural marriage—are a part of the law that God was teaching Joseph Smith. In fact, God uses the story of Sarah and Hagar as an example of what the “everlasting covenant” looked like anciently. This is an important part, because it teaches us that polygamy, as practiced by the early patriarchs– like Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David and Solomon– was not just a cultural practice but rather a spiritual one, and that it is a principle that still has an important place in God’s plan. I am no expert on the topic of polygamy, but I do know that coming to understand God’s laws on marriage—including plural marriage—can increase our testimony rather than weaken it. Yet before God explained the law of plural marriage to Joseph Smith he told him to, “prepare thy heart to receive and obey the instructions which I am about to give unto you,” knowing that what he was about to teach Joseph would be difficult for him to understand and to follow. That instruction is still wise for us today as we study the topic of plural marriage. It is a topic that must be studied with the help of the Holy Ghost. Even though the idea of polygamy can make us uncomfortable, we really aren’t as opposed to it as we think we are. For example, if I died it would be perfectly normal for my husband to marry another woman, be sealed to her in the temple, and have children with her. We would consider this a good and healthy relationship—good that my husband could move and give his heart to another woman after me and good that this woman would have a happy marriage and an opportunity for a family of her own. We don’t have a problem with a man marrying two women (perhaps even more) in his life time, as long as he does it one at a time. It starts to get complicated when we start thinking about heaven as one big slumber party, and try reconcile our earthly experiences with how things will be eternally. I think to understand it we have to be willing to open our minds to things bigger and grander than our here and now, and truly take an eternal perspective. Lucy Walker , one of Joseph Smith’s plural wives, wrote that when she first learned about plural marriage, “Every feeling of my soul revolted against it.” Yet, after praying and wrestling with the idea for several days that one night her room was, “filled with a holy influence” akin to “brilliant sunshine.” She testified that, “My soul was filled with a calm sweet peace that I never knew,” and “supreme happiness took possession of my whole being.” She gained a personal testimony of the principle of plural marriage and gained an eternal perspective that allowed her to follow a very hard commandment. The Law of Plural Marriage One of the best places to start the discussion of plural marriage is in The Book of Mormon where the prophet Jacob taught the Nephites that God’s commandment for them was, “there shall not be any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none” (Jacob 2:27). Jacob explained to the Nephites that polygamy was only permissible when it was given as a commandment, through God’s chosen prophet. “For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people” (Jacob 2:30) otherwise, God’s law was monogamy. That is a pattern that still is true today. Polygamy is only allowed when God reveals it to his prophet and commands his people to live it, otherwise the law is one man, one woman. The story of Hagar and Sarah also helps us better understand God’s laws about plural marriage. D&C 132: 34 illuminates their story by telling us that, “God commanded Abraham, and Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham to wife. And why did she do it? Because this was the law; and from Hagar sprang many people. This, therefore was fulfilling, among other things, the promises.” This verse tells us several important things. First it tells us that Hagar became Abraham’s wife, not simply because Sarah wanted children as the Genesis account states, but because God had commanded Abraham to practice plural marriage. Second, this verse tells us that Abraham taught Sarah this commandment and that she followed it, and even suggested to Abraham that he choose Hagar because she thought (at the time) that it would be a good match. I think this is an important distinction because it makes it clear that Abraham wasn’t lusting after Hagar but that Sarah arranged the marriage herself. Later, when the situation became difficult for all three of them Sarah blamed Abraham, telling him, “My wrong be upon thee” or in other words, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering” (Genesis 16:5). After venting her feelings, she calmed down and ended her remarks with, “the Lord judge between me and thee” which today might sound like, “God judge who is wrong, me or you.” These words seem to show that Sarah recognized that the choice to bring Hagar into their family had not just been Abraham’s, but that she had responsibility for it too. The third thing that D&C 132: 34 makes clear is that polygamy is part of God’s law of marriage. This doesn’t mean that all people will practice it, but I think the scriptures make it clear that that plural marriage, as it relates to sealing ordinances and the Abrahamic covenant, does have a place in God’s plan. Fourth, we learn that “from Hagar sprang many people” and that one of the purposes of polygamy is, as Jacob taught in The Book or Mormon is, “to raise up seed” unto God . Lastly, this scripture tells us that Hagar’s marriage to Abraham was, “fulfilling, among other things, the promises.” That phrase “the promises” is used elsewhere in scripture and appears to refer to temple covenants and the sealing power. For example, in D&C 2:2 restates the famous scripture about the return of Elijah saying, “… he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers. If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.” These promises are also mentioned again in D&C 132:63 where God explains that one of the purposes of plural marriage is, “to fulfill the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world.” It is interesting to remember that a synonym for the word “promise” is the word “covenant”. Though we may not always understand how, I think God wants us to understand that plural marriage is a way in which He honors and fulfills His promises—His covenants—with all His children. The Law of Sarah Later D&C 132:65 tells us that Sarah, in accordance with what God called “the law of Sarah,” gave her consent to Abraham’s marriage with Hagar. This “law of a Sarah” is perhaps the most confusing part of section 132. It states that the law concerning plural marriage is that a wife must first give her consent for a husband to take another wife. Yet, the verse also states that “if she [the wife] receive not this law [of plural marriage] … because she did not believe and administer unto him according to my word; and she then becomes the transgressor; and he is exempt from the law of Sarah.” Meaning, that if a husband is commanded by the Lord to take another wife and his wife doesn’t consent, then the husband can do it anyway. Orson Pratt wrote about how the Law of Sarah was practiced during Joseph Smith’s time. He said, “When a man who has a wife, teaches her the law of God, and she refuses to give her consent for him to marry another according to the law, then it becomes necessary for her to state before the President the reasons why she withholds her consent; if her reasons are sufficient and justifiable and the husband is found in fault, or in transgression, then, he is not permitted to take any step in regard to obtaining another. But if the wife can show no good reason why she refuses to comply with the law which was given to Sarah of old, then it is lawful for her husband, if permitted by revelation through the prophet, to be married to others without her consent, and he will be justified, and she will be condemned, because she did not give them unto him, as Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham, and as Rachel and Leah gave Bilhah and Zilpah to their husband Jacob.”1 If you are anything like me your first gut reaction to the law of Sarah is resentment. It seems like a rule that is harsh and belittling women; a way to spiritually strong arm them into following something they don’t want to do. Yet I think we might look at it another way too, one which is not so oppressive, but rather good for women. It is interesting that plural marriage, and in fact marriage in general, can be seen on two extremes, as either being the worse thing imaginable for women, or an incredible empowering arrangement. It is easy for us to understand the horrible aspect of it. Jacob told us that one of the reasons that plural marriage was not allowed among the Nephites was because the Lord had, “seen the sorrow and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people” and would not allow, “that the cries of the fair daughters of this people… come up unto me against the men of my people” (Jacob 2: 31-32). It is easy for us to see how a woman being forced to share her husband could result in a betrayal of trust, abuse, neglect and exploitation. It is harder for us to understand how polygamy might be empowering and good for women. Yet, empowering and good are exactly how many early Latter-day Saints understood the law of plural marriage. In fact, when the United States began to persecute Latter-day Saints for their practice of polygamy LDS women— smart articulate women– spoke out boldly in favor of it . Eliza R. Snow, reflected their general feeling when she said, “it [polygamy] is truly woman’s cause – a cause which deeply involves not only her present but her eternal interests.”2 Brigham Young taught his daughter Susa Young Gates, that “[women] ought to have their choice in the matter for they can choose but one; and they ought to have the right to select that one.” Looking at it in that light, it is incredibly empowering to think that it is a woman’s right to CHOOSE whom she gives herself to—and that for that union to be approved of by God the man must be righteous and worthy to receive her. How many women in the world (and through the history of the world) would rejoice to think that they were not going to be left alone or “stuck” in an unhappy marriage for eternity? Is there anything more empowering for a woman than to be able to choose? So how do we understand the law of Sarah? Here is just a thought. Let’s go back to the example I gave of earlier of my husband marrying another woman. Let’s pretend that after all of us die we meet up in heaven. I’d lived with my husband for 11 years and had five children with him. We’d been sealed and I still loved him and wanted to be with him forever. Yet, the other woman had been sealed to him for 40 years and also had children with him. She loved him and wanted to be with him forever. Who would get him? Would it be fair or just of me, the first wife, to claim him simply because I “got him” first? Those of us whose lives have been touched by divorce, death, abuse, dysfunction, excommunication, remarriage, abandonment, and other family problems have probably worried about how God is going to make all this “sealing” business right in the end. I have often wondered if polygamy isn’t one of the ways that God will make all the “messy” aspects of our earthly relationships work out in the end. Could there– in a sphere free of time and space– for us all to be perfectly happy with the person of our choice? Like I said at the beginning, I am no expert on plural marriage. Yet there is one thing that I do know, and it is that God loves His daughters– loves us more than we can even fathom. Everything He does is designed to make us happy—eternally happy. It is Satan who teaches us to have a mindset of scarcity and fear. God on the other hand is the creator of abundance and joy. When my questions or doubts about plural marriage begin to surface I have to hold on to that knowledge, and trust that His plan is a plan of happiness. I don’t think we have even begun to glimpse the enormity or extent of our Father in Heaven’s glorious plan—nor the type of joy that awaits those who trust Him. Love only multiplies, never divides. The Seer, Vol. 1, No. 3, pg. 41 BYU Studies, vol. 16, 1975-1976, pg. 260 Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Away from Polygamy, Towards a Deeper Understanding , Vilate Nielsen “I still feel that polygamy is very sacred when lived correctly. Polygamy is a celestial principle that was revealed to Joseph Smith. We know that it will be lived to some extent in the celestial kingdom. I don’t believe that everyone who lives there will practice it, but some will. The Church’s teachings never say that it is not a true principle, just that it’s not a principle that we’re currently living. The leaders of the Church are very clear that it is not something that should be lived now. But in times where the Lord commanded it, it was correct. So I still have a lot of respect for polygamy and believe that it is very sacred.”