You Ask by Elizabeth Ostler Brooklyn, NY, USA You ask me to come unto thee You ask to make my burdens light You ask me to place it all on your alter But Even the misplaced keys When I’m already late And the train is running local? Even the heart shaped Tumor developing faster Than her prepubescent body? Even the tectonic grief Decimating my internal landscape Swallowing me whole? Even the fear That he, that she, that they Won’t be held to account? Even my anger At your asking You ask You ask me You ask me to Forgive the unforgivable Touch the untouchable Love the unlovable You ask me to forgive touch love Even though Even her Even him Even them Even now

Holy Tears by Laura Parry Lehi, Utah, USA Lazarus lay in the grave, A long four days he slept. Martha, Mary, many kin, Around his bedside wept. Finally the Savior came, But Mary feared too late,“ Oh Lord, if thou had healed him- But thou didst us forsake.” The Savior could have raised him then, And brushed her tears aside. Instead, so moved with empathy, His own sweet tears He cried. And then performed the miracle, Which they had longed to see. A miracle made sweeter still, By His unending empathy. Oh Lord, please give me just a part, Of courage, grace and empathy. That I may do the Healer’s Art, And strive more to be like Thee. Help me weep with those who mourn, To enter in that sacred space, Where holy tears form a healing pool, In which I find Thy grace.

Translated (Not Yet) by McArthur Krishna Faizabad, UP, INDIA When I was a child, I thought I would be translated By 20… or latest 21. I mean, How hard could it be? That didn’t happen. But still—It wasn’t until motherhood (Many many years later) That I became desperate for Christ— Everyday. Children bring the necessity of constant renewal— Of trying my best and always so so short. Obviously I had made mistakes before. I had repented. I had thought I knew the atonement. But, before, Before it had been just me (and Christ)Who suffered When I stepped awry. But now it was my child…my beautiful beautiful child who does not deserve her mother’s humanity. Oh my Lord, please help me try again today–And another today And another today. Help me be better for my beautiful one. And perhaps this life will transform me yet. I praise You for the chance.

Threshing with God, a Psalm of Brain Injury by Elizabeth Pinborough Salt Lake City, UT, USA For months you felt mute, or rather, I did. Words that would pearl from my tongue to your ear would not come. I drifted in quarter consciousness like a raft on the sea—much deeper, more fathomless, than I knew it could be. For I was a sure swimmer in linguistic streams who could speak before many, before she could walk. What a cruel baptism in a black wordless realm for a yelping welp of a tiny girl once grown wild and now grown small again. When all I could do was sit in a stupor, beside my bed, head dumb with ache, brain thrashed, confused, undone, you gave me a dream. I am in a forest at night with one bright star. I walk toward the star and find I’m on a hill in a clearing wide. Hello, Polaris, dear Christ star, who never wanders, who never fades. Hello, hope! Hello, way. What was the hope? What was the way? Where was the path through the forest day after dark unfathomable day? Who threshed the path on that moonbright hill? Who planted the trees? Who placed the star? Who found me? Then, I remember a dream. Joseph Smith, that misapprehended visionary man, that frontier believer who tested God’s word tensile and found it made of light, steel, sacrifice, and blood. In his dream, he was swimming in very deep waters, and looking below he saw a school of great fish. I’ve always believed this was a kind of sea of his mind, of going far beyond the capacity of a very capable swimmer, of glimpsing God’s aquamarine fathoms. The mind is our joy and our prison, our raft and our sea. But One undergirds it all. Our captain, our friend. He.

Rejoice Kathryn Knight Sonntag Salt Lake City, UT, USA Because the path of sackcloth and ashes we travel leads to the eternal mountain of Ezekiel, Enoch, and Moses— where the holiest of holies sings with every figure of creation. Because the Son’s tears, suspended over the children of men, the wo, wo is me , from the Earth, our Mother, will finally fallin to the Waters of Life, blooming every soul into an abiding measure of its creation. Because through all things and in all things is love outside of time—the Son who knows the paths of everything that lives.

The Fragment Keeper Trisha Kc Buel Wheeldon Eglin AFB, FL, USA She breaks into screams as I crack the egg. All she has known is the whole, white, solid, smooth of a boiled oval. Now this liquid yolk looks like a lie. My daughter holds the handle of a measuring cup full of shelled peanuts. Her cup runneth over. As she leans to pick updropped pieces, more scatter. I know you know the intersecting texture of a peanut shell, My Lord and My God, not only because you created peanuts. In the garden, you experienced how I experience breaking open the nut, breaking open the egg, breaking open my belief. She will not catch all as they fall from the cup. I must hold it away for a moment. We gather together.

Redemption By Melissa Marshall Charlottesville, VA, USA I brim with words both beautiful and sweet. They stain my mind as the dust from far away Lands and sand have worn my weary feet. I have fought them. I have cringed and cried. I have said, “No. I will not have you here.” Through their knowledge I have felt both dead and vibrant— Thy words have made me alive. But for what, I ask. (Is that a question I’m allowed?) Why have you made me thus? Poor and proud. For faith, I was given a lash. For my innocence, I was given a rule. I have bowed to Thee. Worshipped only Thee! I will carry this load, but no further I go. No longer the fool, nor the mule in my wo. I walk with these words that barrel through my mind Once set on Thee as my only home. In my heart I have wandered. Oh, forgive the wanderer! No other than Thee know the lengths I have roamed. Back to Thy words, both beautiful and sweet From the far, far paths of my digressive feet. Though I have blamed Thee my stain Bemoaned this my pain— This hurt that so wildly has torn at my breast, You have born too. How could I forget?

Ode to Jesus By Alyce Larsen Lancaster, PA, USA You spoke to me in song before I knew My fondest dream would also cause me pain. You lifted me through years of empty wombs With gentle whispers of, “Ye shall obtain.” I have two babies now, both miracles. I weep with joy and struggle to express My gratitude for what we have achieved Together. Oh, my heart is full. You gave me hope, and now I’m double blessed. Oh, Jesus! How I love thee. I believe!

Psalm of Petitionary Praise: A Cry from the Margins By Carmen Sophia Cutler Peoria, AZ, USA Lord, are you at the center?— that hub of surety, clarity, simplicity. Lord, are you at the margins?— those complex spaces, traced with grief, with rage, boiling over with grace. Because I am stronger standing on the verge. In that periphery, I am strong in Thee. So often I stand at the chapel door, with rage I demand: Let me be in that simple center! Part the waters for me. So often I stand at the chapel door with a prayer of praise: Lord, you brought me where I am, broken, healed, complicated, replete with your grace. Anger. Praise. Both of these bring me to the door. Both of these link my cracked voice to the cracked palms of the Lord, where I find my name already written.

Julie Grygla is the mother of six children under five years old. She and her husband achieved their first pregnancy with the help of fertility treatment, and gave birth to triplet boys. When their triplets were only five months old, Julie became pregnant spontaneously with twin girls, who were followed not long after by a baby boy. Their journey has carried them through many unexpected challenges, but Julie has depended on revelation and patience as she has navigated the abundance of motherhood one step at a time. Her own mother passed away unexpectedly while Julie was in graduate school, before her marriage. Julie has learned how to turn an isolated mourning into a connection with her mother and with God, both of whom she feels increasingly guiding her as her children grow older.

It’s no secret that last weekend’s general conference opened up new possibilities for cooperation between men and women in church administration. The two major administrative changes announced—the consolidation of the priesthood quorums into one Elders Quorum and the introduction of coordinated “ministry” efforts—have far reaching implications for gender relations in the church. First of all, the decision to consolidate the quorums has the immediate effect of reducing the structural and perceived hierarchy of priesthood authority among men. Throughout the history of the church, men have had titles, quorum and priesthood designations that serve as milestones to measuring their spiritual progression. While we talk about the mission presidents who return home to serve in the nursery, men always have always had the potential to be called “president” or to move into High Priests Quorum. For women, there is one option: “sister” as the title, and Relief Society as the organization. The reduction in hierarchy in the male institutional structure helps to underscore what we say we believe: that all are alike unto God and that no one should aspire to a certain station or calling. It’s a healthy way to help reduce the attention we inherently put on male progression in the Church. The change in quorum structure also means that there are no longer two male presidencies represented in Ward Council; there is now only one, on par with the single presidency representing the women’s Relief Society. Previously in Ward Council, an Elders Quorum presidency and a High Priest Group presidency have offered double representation of the men, sometimes overwhelming the single representation of adult women. Numerically, the reduction of men’s presidencies in Ward Council will now also bring the ratio of men to women in the meetings closer to parity. (It has been 3 women to about 10 men. Now at 3 women to 9 men, women will represent a quarter of the Ward Council participants.) Language also will be effected. As Elder Oaks stressed in the Priesthood Session of conference (the name of which must now be changed, right?), “priesthood” is no longer a synonym for “men”. Being able to refer to all adult men in a ward as “the Elders Quorum” will help reduce our reliance on the term “priesthood” to describe men who previously were in both the Elders Quorum and High Priests. Elders Quorum will now serve as a convenient catch-all term, on par with “Relief Society” as a catch-all term for all adult women in a ward. Involving the Young Women in a structured service opportunity is a significant advancement. As a Young Women’s president myself, I am aware that there are no built-in jobs for young women in the ward, in contrast to the way the young men serve as Aaronic priesthood holders.  This will help direct our young women to be gospel producers, instead of just being gospel consumers, which has been the default position for that age group.  It will also help them feel more connected to the older women of the ward, with whom they have had very little interaction previous to this. This is also in contrast to the young men, who attend opening exercises and Serve as home teachers with older men. The most significant change from conference, however, is a somewhat obscure implication of the new ministering program. While ministering still maintains the structure of men overseeing families of the ward and the Relief Society overseeing women in the ward, the instructions to the effected leaders suggest something remarkable: when ministering brothers have a concern about a particular family,  they are empowered and encouraged to speak with the Relief Society presidency  about the people under their stewardship. This may seem like a small thing, but no where else in the structure of our church programs have adult male members been reliant on female leaders for guidance and spiritual support outside of the ward council. In this new cooperation between men and women to serve the needs of the members, men meet with and receive council from women. This directly shatters a truth that has been in existence for too long: that adult men in the church have never been under the ecclesiastical leadership of a women. Now, the Relief Society presidency is empowered to council men as they serve as ministering brothers, in addition to counseling women. This truly is a new dawn for the cooperative ministry between men and women in the church. In 2012, as Sister Julie Beck left her presidency, There was quite a bit of commentary about her use of the word ministry. Our team at the Mormon Women Project picked up on her use of this word. I am delighted that it has now been introduced into the mainstream lexicon for our church. It seems to bring us closer to Christ’s mission and ministry, and to the cooperative ministries of genders that can only be a good thing for all of us.

Twice, I stood in my Brooklyn apartment, during the Saturday morning session of conference, to sustain Russell M. Nelson as Prophet, Seer and Revelator (and the twelve apostles). I stood as a member of the Relief Society and as a member of this Church. I did this with full conviction and heart. I’ve long admired President Nelson— “A Plea to My Sisters ” is a touchstone for me. I sustain the Prophet. I now plead with President Nelson, the first presidency, the twelve apostles, the auxiliary presidencies and any other decision-makers to continue to give more opportunities for our female leaders to address the general assembly. Three women (Three!) spoken in the general session of this Conference. From what I can tell, the only other time this has happened was in April 2002 . This is wonderful. And I want more. I want to see at least one woman at the pulpit during each of the four general sessions. I understand baby steps are sometimes necessary for change; therefore, I could be satisfied (for a time) with three speakers and a prayer (note, not a single woman offered the prayer in any of the sessions this conference). I fear moral licensing—justifying returning to the practice of one or two female speakers in the general sessions because there were recently three. I hope it isn’t another 16 years before we experience this again. In 2015, when President Nelson plead with the sisters of the church to be more active and visible in worship, governance and service, he said, “My dear sisters, whatever your calling, whatever your circumstances, we need your impressions, your insights, and your inspiration. We need you to speak up and speak out in ward and stake councils…So today I plead with my sisters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to step forward! Take your rightful and needful place in your home, in your community, and in the kingdom of God—more than you ever have before. . . . I thank you, my dear sisters, and bless you to rise to your full stature, to fulfill the measure of your creation, as we walk arm in arm in this sacred work. Together we will help prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord.” When I first heard these words, my own thoughts were validated, and I was energized by President Nelson’s conviction and belief in the contributions of women in the Church. I continue to be inspired by these words. However, in order for President Nelson’s plea to be a reality, we need the leaders of the church to visibly model women of the church speaking up and speaking out in general conference. As I discuss this desire with members of the church, I’m often met with, “Yeah, but there are so many more male leaders than women leaders, and we need to give all of them opportunities to talk.” I too want to hear from the varied priesthood leadership of the church, but not at the expense of parity. Women are the majority of the membership of the church. They particularly, as well as the men, adolescents and children of the church, need to experience our female leaders proselytizing from the highest positions. If women are to speak up, we need to have examples of our voices being heard and valued. We need to believe that the authority and ministry of women carries equal importance to men’s in the progress of the Church. In her final address, Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson advocated for the recognition of the usefulness that the Young Women are to our wards and Gospel and to utilize them in the building of Zion. Just as Christ taught, “…The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise” (John 5:19), it is imperative that our Young Women see empowered women and the empowerment of women in our church. President Nelson also asked, “Sisters, do you realize the breadth and scope of your influence when you speak those things that come to your heart and mind as directed by the Spirit?” The only way we will fully realize the breadth and scope of our influence is in the doing. I plead for more opportunities for us to do the very thing the President of the church has plead for us to do. Yes, this needs to happen in our general assemblies; it also needs to happen in our wards and stakes. What if we started modeling in our meeting what we expect from our general leadership? We are being asked to utilize and strengthen our ward councils. Are we using these meetings to discuss parity at our ward pulpits? Is this a topic being discussed in our new first Sunday Relief Society and Elder Quorum council meetings? It should be. Use your influence. Speak up. Speak out. Like what you see here? We depend on the financial support of our community to produce these stories. Please co