The Gospel Doctrine lesson #20 manual objective is “to inspire class members to continually apply the principle of repentance, become converted, and share the gospel.” Our Objective To explore how we can become more united through our shared histories and faith. Commentary In lesson 20, we might be tempted to focus entirely on the poignant experience of Alma the Younger (or Alma the Son of Alma as the text tells us). As he repents, he feels the torment of a damned soul swept away in a moment and he receives the overwhelming light of redemption. Though Alma’s narrative is one of my favorites in all of scripture, if we focus entirely on Alma, we might miss some important and instructive moments in the text that powerfully remind us of the collective elements of redemption. As we begin chapter 25 , we have multiple groups physically brought together. They have points of similar experience, yet they also have considerable differences. Alma’s people, Limhi’s people, the Nephites, and the original residents of Zarahemla—the Mulekites are all brought together. Though the first three groups were descendants of Lehi and his family, they had experienced different histories in the past several decades. Like the Nephites, the people of Mulek originated in Jerusalem, but the two groups had contrasting paths to the Promised Land—hundreds of years of distinct leaders and a different language. Over time the Mulekites welcomed and offered protection to these disparate groups of Nephites in Zarahemla. At this point in the narrative their new King Mosiah saw an opportunity to unite these distinct groups through sharing their histories. The people experienced “wonder…amazement…joy…sorrow…pain and anguish” as they read their records together (25:7–11). They shared in the depths of sadness and soared with joy. As it was with these newly united Nephites, stories are a critical way in which we can come together. We learn about the experience of the Other—she whose experience is very different than our own. Trying to understand the experience of someone outside of ourselves helps us to gain empathy. We can only begin to love and serve others as we truly make the effort to understand them. This unity created through a shared history undergirds King Mosiah’s desires for the newly created church. He proclaimed that there should be “no persecutions among them, that there should be an equality among all” (27:3–4). Mosiah attempted something momentous—something celestial. Equality reigns in the celestial kingdom and this is Mosiah’s desire for the church ( Doctrine and Covenants 76:95 ). This unity also brings together members of the church despite desperate persecutions and the specific nefarious efforts of Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah. They come together as sisters and brothers to support Alma the Elder (I’m confident that Alma the Younger’s mother is likewise central to this) and raise their voices in united faith that the rebellious sons might be brought to truth. As Alma the Younger is given an opportunity to repent and receive redemption, the Lord emphasizes the expansive opportunity that is redemption. The Lord said, “Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God” ( 27:25–26 ). Most of the time we ignore the limitations of gender specific language and we are grateful when certain church leaders make an effort to make the language of scripture more inclusive. But there are examples in scripture, like this promise from the Lord that even further highlight the inclusive nature of salvation with their use of inclusive language. As the Sons of Mosiah were likewise converted they also joined in this expansive vision; “they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble” ( 28:3 ). All of humankind is gracefully offered the opportunity to be changed and to become new women and men of Christ. Looking for additional perspectives on this lesson? We recommend Mormon Sunday School , Meridian Magazine  and LDSLiving .

The Gospel Doctrine lesson 22 manual objective is “to help class members understand what it means to experience a change of heart and continue in the process of conversion.” Our Objective To consider one contemporary woman’s testimony, as we examine what it means to receive God’s image in our countenances. Commentary Are you a fan of HGTV’s Fixer Upper , yet? I discovered the show on Netflix, and I have pretty much watched every episode. Chip and Joanna Gaines, a Christian couple in Waco, Texas, run a home renovation business that is rapidly turning into a home design empire, and the show displays one disaster-to-masterpiece transformation after another. This show naturally lends itself to metaphors about spiritual life, the most obvious being the idea that we are all fixer uppers. In the same way that any property the Gaines’ touch becomes gold, we are refined and remade through the Atonement of Christ. But one particular aspect of this transformative process has become more clear to me through thinking about Joanna and Chip’s lives and reading the text for this week’s Sunday School lesson, Alma 5 through 7. Even if you haven’t seen the show, you have possibly watched Joanna’s testimony , which has more than 5.25 million views on YouTube. She says, “I heard Him specifically say, ‘Joanna, I have a calling for you. You’re going to have a platform one day.’” She did not know what that meant, but when she closed her small business to be with her growing family, she felt God telling her to entrust her dreams to Him. If she did, He would make them greater than she could even imagine. Years later, when she felt inspired to do so, she reopened the shop, which continues to grow. It is not hard to recognize Joanna’s revelation coming to pass. One of the most captivating aspects of their lives is Chip and Joanna’s vision . They see possibilities where many would see despair. They infuse architectural spaces with new life through sound repair, thoughtful restoration, and beautiful furnishing. They follow God’s vision for their lives, and millions of viewers are their witnesses. Alma the Younger understood the process of faith and also the result. He, like Joanna, also understood that we all bear responsibility for having faithful vision: “Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?” ( Alma5:14 ), he asks. Later, Alma asks his listeners whether they use the eye of faith to imagine themselves at the judgment bar, whether they can “look up, having the image of God engraven upon [their] countenances” ( Alma 5:19 ; emphasis added). To become reborn and truly changed, we have to receive the image of God and it must become an essential part of us. We are not simply becoming a better version of ourselves. Rather, we come to reflect Christ’s image. The life of a believer is unmistakeable in that it bears God’s imprint. We are living icons that point to their Creator and contain his very attributes and thoughts. And the true beauty of this process? We get to use our own second sight, our imagination, to discover what God would have us do, who God would have us be. God allows us to be co-creators with Him as we work toward our eternal destiny. Alma encouraged his listeners to picture their own spiritual futures as though they were reality. We can practice this kind of sight and let that lead us to renovate our lives. Having faith and listening to God are essential parts of vision. At the end of her testimony Joanna says, “Let God speak into your life. Let His Father heart come and say this is what I have for you. And I think that’s the key: not believing the lies, fixing our eyes on Jesus, and walking in that truth.” This is how we receive Christ’s image in our countenance and then have it engraved there. The more we actively look to Christ, the more we will look like Him. And that transformation will be glorious. I am all at once what Christ is, since he was what I am, and This Jack, joke, poor potsherd, patch, matchwood,             immortal diamond,           Is immortal diamond. (Gerard Manley Hopkins, “That Nature Is a Heraclitean Fire”) Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Dressed Like A Queen , Rosie Card “Whatever it is, I think creating is the greatest distraction and that’s where our self worth comes from. It obviously goes back to who we are as daughters of the Creator. Creating is what we are meant to do.” Moving Past Forever , Kenna Christensen “I would say, the Lord is aware of you and your situation. He has the ability to turn any tragedy into something beautiful. If we seek for His help and guidance, that’s exactly what He’ll do. I would also say honor your grief. That was something a friend of mine told me during my grief. Our feelings matter. It’s okay to hurt and it’s okay not to be okay. It’s hard, but it’s a part of mortality.” Other Related Women’s Voices If Ye Love Me, Keep My Commandments , Carole M. Stephens “Even with all of the mistakes, opposition, and learning that accompany our mortal experience, God never loses sight of our eternal potential, even when we do.” Do I Believe? , Bonnie L. Oscarson “Conversion comes when we serve those around us. It comes from earnest prayer, regular temple attendance, and faithful fulfillment of our God-given responsibilities. It takes consistency and daily effort.” Wanted: Hands and Hearts to Hasten the Work , Linda K. Burton “You have been sent to earth in this dispensation of time because of who you are and what you have been prepared to do! Regardless of what Satan would try to persuade us to think about who we are, our true identity is that of a disciple of Jesus Christ!” Looking for additional perspectives on this lesson? We recommend Mormon Sunday School , Meridian Magazine  and LDSLiving.

By Colleen H.   My family was complete after I gave the Lord a deadline. My husband and I started trying to conceive about two years after we got married, when I was 24 years old. After a year of no results, a fifteen month military deployment, and another nine months of trying, I became pregnant with my little boy. When he was about a year old, we started trying for another baby. After a couple of years and several fruitless folk remedies, I went to a fertility clinic and we did a bunch of the usual diagnostic tests to see what was holding things up. They never did find anything definitive, but I was prescribed a low dose of Clomid. I took a mental health break after four unsuccessful rounds. Before I started on the fifth round, I decided that the emotional roller coaster had to end. It was now or never. Luckily, that fifth round worked and we had a little girl, just over five years younger than her brother. We had pretty well decided at that point that enough was enough. The monthly failures had taken their toll on my heart and I knew I couldn’t go through all that again. I had always had sort of a mental “finish line” of 37 years old, only because that’s when my mom had my youngest sister. When I started creeping up on 37 and my daughter was four, I started to wonder if we ought to give it just one more shot. My husband was completely happy to have two children and I knew he wouldn’t be super excited to hop on that crazy-making train again, so after a lot of thought and prayer I asked him if we could just give it one year. I felt like I could emotionally handle just 12 months if I knew there was a hard deadline. I talked to God and respectfully requested that if we were supposed to have another child, he’d better make it snappy. That last year was a casual effort with no medical interventions and I very consciously didn’t set my heart on another baby. When the twelve months were up, that was that. The door was closed and I was okay with it.

By Nubia Willes My dance with infertility began as a teenager when we found out I had a blood disorder which could prevent me from carrying a baby to full term. I think it was Heavenly Father’s way of preparing me for what I had to go through to start a family, and for which I am grateful. Fast forward to 2012. My husband and I had been married for just about a year and decided we were ready to try expanding our family. I remember the excitement and elation and now, the naiveté.  I remember being taught in health class that you get pregnant when you have sex, like it was so easy. But after months of trying I started to feel something was wrong. I had people tell me not to give up and that it can take up to a year or two. I prayed together a lot during those months, and eventually started fertility treatments. My faith started dwindling because I just knew I was supposed to be a mother—it was in my patriarchal blessing. I started getting angry with God. At the beginning of our “expand the family” process I had become a temple worker. There were so many weekends I found myself sobbing in quiet corners asking for the comfort of knowing it will happen in His timing. There were many bittersweet moments seeing families sealed together, and I kept beating myself up. Will it ever be us? In September 2013, we learned that my fallopian tubes were not functioning the way they should and in vitro-fertilization would be my only option for childbearing. I thought I was prepared for the shocking blow this gave me. I thought Heavenly Father had prepared me as a teenager, but finding out your body does not function the way it is supposed to is still enough to question your womanhood. I struggled with my faith, with my marriage. I was so sure my husband would leave me to marry someone who could give him biological children. I was so angry at God for the struggle He gave me. The ironic part? I didn’t even care that much about pregnancy. Giving birth was never a deal-breaker in how we were going to start a family. But being told “you can’t” is a shocking reality. We decided to begin the adoption process. We went through months of incredibly emotional emails. We prayed over women we had never met. We had to learn how to guard our hearts. Until the last email we received came in August 2015. She said all of the right things, but we still remained slightly detached. I could not handle another emotional blow so quickly. Over time I know He softened my heart and gave me the comfort I needed in order to enjoy the process with her and then I fell in love with this woman, my heavenly sister. In April 2016, our daughter was born. The emotional aspects of her birth still leave me speechless. I remember being in the room, assisting the doctor as she was delivering. And although having her placed in my arms fulfilled the biggest desire of my heart, it did not heal the brokenness which I continued to feel. At this point we were still just overjoyed and were savoring every possible moment we could with this amazing little angel. The thought of more children was put on the backburner. Then only seven months later, I ended up in the emergency room with intense abdominal and pelvic pain. We found masses in my abdomen, one as big as a softball, had grown and were now squishing everything inside of me. I was prepared for the gynecologist to tell me he could remove the masses and that would be that. I was not prepared for him to tell me he had to perform a hysterectomy. The masses had all but destroyed my ovaries and uterus. They were of zero use to me anymore. But they were not of much use before, right? I kept trying to remind myself pregnancy was never a deal-breaker in our plan, but that does not lessen the blow. Before I had to accept the fact that we would need assistance to bring a child into the world. Now I had to accept I will never be pregnant. The finality of the word still cuts into me. I went into surgery trying to be hopeful, but the following two weeks of recovery were harder than I could have imagined emotionally. I tried so hard to just find joy in my daughter, snuggling with her and loving on her. I remembered the amazing gift of adoption and how we could still be a forever family sealed in the temple. But even despite that eternal promise, my temporal wounds are still not completely healed and I cannot say if they will ever be. At the end of the day, there are no childbearing years for me. There never were in Heavenly Father’s plan, which is something that will continue to take time for me to accept.

This complete interview may be heard at the LDS Women Project podcast. Heather grew up in a large family in the 1970s and 80s in Salt Lake County, Utah. During her childhood, she absorbed messages about motherhood and womanhood that complicated some of the pain and difficulty she faced through her childbearing years. As she and her husband experienced challenges and choices, blessings and loss, she developed what she feels is a truer perspective on her worth as a daughter of God, and on the responsibilities and privileges associated with motherhood. Her faith in Christ and in loving Heavenly Parents has sustained and guided her.

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #23 manual objective is “to increase class members’ understanding of the plan of redemption and the power of having more than one witness to testify of gospel truths.” Our Objective To increase understanding of the importance of having a diversity of witnesses, both women and men, and to be more aware of how to encourage those witnesses. Commentary In this lesson, Alma attempts to teach the people of Ammonihah, but they reject him. He leaves the city until an angel commands him to return. On his return, he meets up with Amulek, a resident of Ammonihah, who begins to teach with him. The scriptures tell us in Alma 10:12 the effect the two men teaching together had on the people: “And now, when Amulek had spoken these words the people began to be astonished, seeing there was more than one witness who testified of the things whereof they were accused, and also of the things which were to come, according to the spirit of prophecy which was in them.” The lesson manual asks us: “What are the benefits of having more than one witness when sharing the gospel?” To me, the beauty of Alma and Amulek teaching together isn’t that they were both saying exactly the same thing. It’s that they were teaching the same principles in different ways, most likely using different examples and different approaches. This diversity of voices comes into play in many aspects of churches. We have a variety of speakers in sacrament meeting, a variety of testimonies in our testimony meetings, and we make many decisions in councils or presidencies where a variety of opinions are shared. Often, though, one type of voice or witness is missing or under-represented at church: the feminine voice. Several church leaders lately have commented on the unique perspective women offer—a perspective that is needed and that adds value. In President Russell M. Nelson’s already often-quoted talk, A Plea to My Sisters , he said, “The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who…can speak with the power and authority of God!” Unfortunately though, our society in general, and many church settings in particular, discourage this other witness—the voice of women. A recent article in the New York Times cited several troubling studies. Research has repeatedly shown that women speak significantly less than men in mixed gender settings. The conditions that make women more likely to speak up are when women are a majority and when women are leading. One of the studies, conducted by researchers at BYU and Princeton, concluded that “having a seat at the table is very different than having a voice.” At church, in most decision making forums or meetings though, women are neither leading nor the majority. Two significant ward leadership meetings, ward council and PEC (priesthood executive council), are dominated by male voices and witnesses. PEC has at most one female attendee mentioned in the handbook (the Relief Society president) along with a large handful of men. Ward council includes three women and well over twice as many men. Stake meetings are even more male-dominated. And of course in every decision making meeting involving men and women at church, it is a man who presides and who has the final decision making authority. Research shows that even when women have more power, they self-regulate their speech much more than men do. A Yale study found that women were afraid of negative consequences in speaking up too much. They fear they will be seen as aggressive. And, their fears are not unfounded. In other words, the article concluded, “men are rewarded for speaking, while women are punished.” In order to fully empower these other witnesses and be sure they are heard will take some effort on everyone’s part. We need to make space for women’s witnesses and voices. To do this, we need to invite more women to the table to begin with. But we also need to be aware of the social stigma women face when speaking up and speaking out as President Nelson encouraged. If we want to hear women’s witnesses, we need to create an environment where they are valued. This can include encouraging women to add their witness by asking for it specifically and individually in church councils. We can also provide examples of women’s witnesses by including more women as speakers in meetings such as stake conferences and leadership trainings. When we treat the diversity of witnesses and voices as a strength to be sought after instead of something to be tolerated if necessary, the result might be, in the words of Alma 10:12, “astonishing.” Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Where Her Truth Is , Morgan Lyon Cotti I think a stronger female voice is crucial. I used to teach in the Young Women and now I am in the older teenager Sunday School. I love the new lessons. I love how it is an open curriculum. But the talks and videos that are listed are usually are of or from men. So I usually have to go searching for a talk or quote by a woman. In my opinion, we are going to have to have some mixture of grassroots efforts and having women be more willing to speak up. And then at the highest level, I hope we will continue to see great changes like the mission age change and the emphasis on women’s voices being included in ward council. Other Related Women’s Voices Oh, How We Need Each Other , Bonnie L. Oscarson We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve.

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #24 manual objective is “to help class members recognize the importance of honoring their foreordained roles, callings, and priesthood responsibilities and to help them understand that following the counsel of prophets helps us enter into the rest of the Lord.” Our Objective To understand Alma’s invitation to peace and priesthood, as it applies to both women and men. Commentary Alma delivers a discourse of deep doctrine in the reading for this lesson, one that culminates in the violent persecution of those who accept his message. The topic: priesthood after the order of Melchizedek. The audience: a crowd of probably men, some beginning to soften to his words, but most antagonistic to his message. The ultimate victims in this story: the believing wives and children, executed by the rulers of Ammonihah. Their husbands and fathers are cast out from the city and forced to rebuild their lives elsewhere. The women don’t get that chance. Instead they are martyred for their beliefs. This brutality inflicted against women and children is utterly horrifying, not just the event itself, but the reminder that women in the Book of Mormon so often bear the brunt of the evil choices of others. These women are long dead, but like the Nephites, who “shed many tears of sorrow” ( Mosiah 25:9 ) when they listened to the scriptural records of the Limhites and Abinadi’s mission among them, I mourn for these long-ago martyrs who died for their testimony. And I’m not sure what to make of this reading from a woman’s perspective. Although Alma later mourns the deaths of the martyred women, any specific mention of women is absent from Alma’s doctrinal sermons. He speaks to the men, calling them brethren as he describes the priesthood order of Melchizedek, while their wives and children wait and listen unseen. When Alma talks about the mysteries of God being available to those who harden not their hearts, when he describes the rest of the Lord and the peace of Melchizedek’s city, his language is not gender inclusive. So I’ve been struggling to find a way to insert a positive feminine presence into the theological discussion of priesthood that Alma sets forth. Linguistically or historically, it may be impossible to do. Yet, somehow, his discourse nonetheless urged these women toward a deeper belief in God. And as I reflect on its influence in my own life and think about the vision of priesthood that is depicted here, I can’t deny an underlying feeling that this priesthood is something that I have experienced, that this holy order is my priesthood as well. So what is that vision? And how have I participated in an inclusive priesthood? In contrast to other Book of Mormon passages on the priesthood such as Moroni 2-4 , which records the procedural aspects of priesthood ordination, Alma 13 describes the disposition of the individual soul in relation to the priesthood. Verse 3 speaks of the necessity of exercising great faith. Verse 4 points out the role of the Spirit of God. It is this Spirit who seeks out and calls receptive individuals– those who have not hardened their hearts to a holy calling. This idea that the holy calling arises out of a spiritually softened heart and a visionary enlightenment resonates with my experience. And the “privilege” (v. 4) that is the result of this process of faith and repentance recalls to my mind the distinct language of the organization of the Relief Society in 1842. Joseph Smith said this to these first member of the Relief Society of Nauvoo: “You are now placed in a situation where you can act according to those sympathies which God has planted in your bosoms. If you live up to these principles how great and glorious!—if you live up to your privilege, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.” Alma 13 continues to speak of both spiritual requirements and privileged blessings of the priesthood and its eternal nature, “without beginning of days or end of years, being prepared from eternity to all eternity” (v. 7). Although it refers to ordinances and ordination, this chapter’s focus is not the detailed ritual aspects of the priesthood. Rather than a handbook of administrative practices, Alma 13 is a guide for our spiritual orientation. Faith, repentence, the works of righteousness– these are the qualifications to enter into the holy order of God (v. 10). Only then can the Holy Ghost sanctify those who enter into this rest of the Lord (v. 12). And it is this spiritual blessing which establishes peace (v. 18) in our sometimes harrowing lives. Alma’s vision of entering into the priesthood describes the path toward becoming a follower of Christ. I am not remotely in the same social and cultural circumstances as the women of Ammonihah, and it is hard for me to put myself in their position. But somehow, hearing the message of Alma’s sermon and searching the scriptures diligently to verify his doctrine ( Alma 14:1 ), these women found hope in his promises of peace and privilege. Reading this sermon across the distance of time, I also have hope in the peace and enlightenment of God’s holy calling. Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Women and the Priesthood , Sheri Dew “Eliza R. Snow said that Latter-day Saint women have greater and higher privileges than any female on the face of the earth. I absolutely know that is true. We could talk about the issues of trying to work with priesthood leaders. I’m like everyone else: I’ve had glorious experiences working with priesthood leaders, and I’ve had terrible experiences working with priesthood leaders. I get that whole picture. But I also believe that when you look at the spiritual privileges we have, it’s just astonishing. The saddest imaginable thing is if we don’t realize what God has given us. And if we don’t realize it, we are in no position to learn how to draw upon the power of God and how to draw that power into our lives to bless us. Imagine how sad to get to the end of your life and find out that you had it all along, but didn’t access that power.” Reflections on the Divine , Fiona Givens “Whenever we become too comfortable in our paradigms, that is the time for a shift. The Lord wants us to look for Him in the chaos and disorder that is often our life experience. It is then the revelation comes and we experience that we are loved by Someone whose vulnerable beauty draws us to Him with an infinite and loving power. It is then we see God’s gentle face all around us.” Other Related Women’s Voices An Outpouring of Blessings , Julie B. Beck “I am grateful for the outpouring of blessings that has come to each of us through the priesthood of God. By the power of the priesthood, this world and everything in it, including each of us, were created. The priesthood is intricately woven into who we are and have ever been. As sons and daughters of God, we each have unique responsibilities and roles, and through the blessings of the priesthood, we are all given equal partnership, gifts, and blessings.” Looking for additional perspectives on this lesson? We recommend Mormon Sunday School , Meridian Magazine  and LDSLiving .

By Ann McDougall My husband and I married young. When the time came for children, we had a plan. Have our first child after college, get a job, buy a house, have four or five children two years apart. Infertility and multiple miscarriages were part of the Lord’s plan. It took three years and two early pregnancy losses to have our son. The pregnancy was difficult, with bed rest and a premature birth. We were scared to get pregnant again, yet wanted more than ever to fill our home with more children. When our son was young, he was outside on the swing set all alone. Tears filled my eyes as I looked out the window, yearning to give him the companionship of siblings. We miraculously conceived identical twins. We were ecstatic. We felt blessed to be bringing two children into our family, but only having to go through one pregnancy. Our dreams were shattered when our twin boys were born 4 months early and passed away shortly thereafter. The following months were difficult. We were torn on trying for one more child or risk losing another piece of our hearts to loss. We became pregnant with our daughter, and the journey to get her here safely was almost more than we could bear. Two surgeries, weekly shots, many doctors’ appointments, six months of bed rest, and nine weeks of hospital bed rest got us a healthy baby girl. The pregnancy with our daughter was the deciding factor that we were done having children. Our hearts couldn’t take any more pain and worry. We couldn’t have our family separated for months, with me being unable to care for my family while on bed rest. We mourn that we always wanted more children. We talk about how we started a family at an older age than expected, and we will be those old parents at our kids’ graduations and weddings. After I had come to terms that we wouldn’t be having any more children, my mental health suffered. I had spent the last seven years with a goal and specific tasks to reach that goal, with planning, timing, and doctor visits. Now I had nothing. No planning for the next pregnancy. No looking forward to another baby. My future seemed so empty. I asked myself, “Now what? What comes next?” I had been so consumed with trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant that my life seemed empty and meaningless. It’s been three years since we had our daughter. I am in a much better place mentally than I was after her birth. I’ve been through a grieving process of what our family is actually like compared to what we had dreamed in those early years of marriage. Instead of struggling to find my purpose in having another child, I have found purpose in the here and now, the family I have with me.

By Marilyn Bushman-Carlton I was satisfied after having the last of my five children in fewer than seven and half years that our family was complete. Like his siblings before him, the youngest was adorable, and I loved having a new baby to cuddle. My love for them was fierce and total, and my life was given to caring for and teaching them and to managing our domestic lives like the captain of a tight ship sailing calmly through any weather. But that was how it looked from the outside. Inside I was a mess. After child number three was born in 1974, I felt deeply hopeless. I had no idea who I was. I had not been given opportunities to learn an instrument or to take lessons of any kind where I might have discovered my talents, and I had not gone to college. By then, I was a passionate feminist trying to find myself, but with little time to do it as my husband earned advanced degrees and landed a prestigious job. With his encouragement and a truckload of trepidation, I began my studies at the University of Utah the same year our youngest child entered Kindergarten. Because I had the children so closely together, there was no time between them to lament not having a baby to hold, nor time to cry when each began school. As a student, my mom role changed little—I kept my self-life separate, attending classes, studying and writing papers while the children were in school. At home I was all theirs. But finally I was beginning to fill the empty vessel my feminist sisters talked about. In choosing to go to school when I did, I showed my daughters, especially, that education is important. My oldest daughter and I overlapped at the University her freshman year. And because it took everyone’s help to get mom through college, all shared the household chores. My sons had the example of their father who had his weekly and daily assignments, as well. Now, I watch our boys pitch in in their own marriages and see how natural they are at being dads, and how our daughters deftly balance families and careers. As a bonus, the self-reliance each of them learned early, knowing they could take care of themselves and their jobs and schoolwork, instilled in them a sustaining self-confidence. Taking care of myself then and now has allowed me to live in the present and to enjoy each stage of both my children’s lives and my own. I enjoy my children as adult friends and confidants, not to mention their valuable opinions as editors. I published my first book in 1995, and praise and assistance is a two-way street in our family cooperative. In addition, I have sixteen grandchildren whom I love and enjoy just as I have always enjoyed my children. Both my personal vessel and my family nest are full.

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #25 manual objective is “to inspire class members to follow the example of the sons of Mosiah by sharing the gospel and ministering to others.” Our Objective To assess how women and men can obtain power and authority in teaching. Commentary Who has “power and authority” to teach? How are power and authority obtained? Should they be sought after? For what purpose? What do power and authority accomplish? For much of my life, I believe I would have associated “power and authority” with male priesthood, as certainly many members do. This instinctive association is justified by numerous verses linking the two (e.g. D&C 107:8 , D&C 113:8 , D&C 128:9 ), and is supported by the administrative setup of the church and the responsibilities of priesthood holders. Yet it is not an exclusive connection. Power and authority do come with priesthood keys and callings executed righteously. They also come with priesthood ordinances administered both to women and men in the temple. But Alma 17 lays out a path to power and authority without specific mention of priesthood: Alma 17 2 Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.3 But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God. The sons of Mosiah (v. 2-3) Were strong in the knowledge of the truth Were of sound understanding Searched the scriptures diligently Knew the word of God Prayed and fasted much  “Therefore” (v. 3) They had the spirit of prophecy They had the spirit of revelation They taught with power and authority from God How does a woman teach with authority and power? Alma’s “for-therefore” structure here suggests a formula that any of us could follow, regardless of ordination or office. Knowledge of scripture is not enough, of course, to be authoritative “unto the convincing of men” ( D&C 11:21 ). What does it mean to search scripture diligently? How do we become strong in our knowledge of the truth ? How do we become women and men of sound understanding , and what does that mean? What is the word of God , and how does is differ from scripture ? See Ammon’s beautiful soliloquy, “they are brought to sing redeeming love, and this because of the power of his word which is in us” ( Alma 26:13 ) and the description of the conversion of the people of Alma, “their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word” ( Alma 5:7 ). See also 2 Nephi 32:3 , which sets “the words of Christ” in parallel with “the power of the Holy Ghost.” What is the spirit of prophecy ? It is the testimony of Jesus (see Rev. 19:10 , Alma 6:8 , and Joseph Smith’s July 1839 sermon found in History of the Church 3:389 ). By this definition, women and men are equally entitled to the spirit of prophecy. How do we obtain a testimony of Jesus? And what is the outcome of all this? It is effectiveness in teaching. The end result of power and authority thus acquired (with the spirit of prophecy and revelation, delivering the word of God) is “faith” (Rom 10:17) and “the convincing of men” ( D&C 11:21 ). Joseph Smith taught, “Faith comes by hearing the word of God, through the testimony of the servants of God; that testimony is always attended by the Spirit of prophecy and revelation” ( Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 148 ). My challenge to every woman of the church, whatever perceptions have guided her to this point, is to pause and envision herself clothed with power and authority. When you do so, do you see your present self? Do you see yourself at some point in your past (perhaps while you taught your children, or served your mission, or labored in a calling)? Or do you envision yourself in some distant eternity? Whatever steps Alma lays out for us to achieve this vision, the first step is believing we can.  Related Mormon Women Project Interviews Women and the Priesthood , Sheri Dew “Eliza R. Snow said that Latter-day Saint women have greater and higher privileges than any female on the face of the earth. I absolutely know that is true. We could talk about the issues of trying to work with priesthood leaders. I’m like everyone else: I’ve had glorious experiences working with priesthood leaders, and I’ve had terrible experiences working with priesthood leaders. I get that whole picture. But I also believe that when you look at the spiritual privileges we have, it’s just astonishing. The saddest imaginable thing is if we don’t realize what God has given us. And if we don’t realize it, we are in no position to learn how to draw upon the power of God and how to draw that power into our lives to bless us. Imagine how sad to get to the end of your life and find out that you had it all along, but didn’t access that power.” Reflections on the Divine , Fiona Givens “Whenever we become too comfortable in our paradigms, that is the time for a shift. The Lord wants us to look for Him in the chaos and disorder that is often our life experience. It is then the revelation comes and we experience that we are loved by Someone whose vulnerable beauty draws us to Him with an infinite and loving power. It is then we see God’s gentle face all around us.” Other Related Women’s Voices The Power of Goodness , Janette Hales Beckham “My plea for each of us is to recognize that God has given each of us power—the power to act, to choose, to serve, to love, and to accomplish much good.” Spit and Mud and Kigatsuku , Chieko Okazaki “You are powerful! Where does that power come from to ‘do many things of [our] own free will’? It comes from the Savior himself. Feel that desire to serve in your own heart.”  Looking for additional perspectives on this lesson? We recommend Mormon Sunday School , Meridian Magazine  and LDSLiving .

This past week the Mormon Channel released a video that has sparked a boiling flood of conversation on Facebook and many LDS blogs. Many women and men who viewed the video loved it. Some shed their own tears as they related to the woman, who gave so much of herself throughout the day to help others, but who underestimated the worth of her seemingly small contributions. They felt comforted by the message from President Hinckley at the end of the video: “Many of you think you are failures. You feel you cannot do well, that with all of your effort it is not sufficient. We all worry about our performance. We all wish we could do better. But unfortunately we do not realize, we do not often see the results that come of what we do.” These viewers felt renewed purpose in the daily grind, renewed hope that maybe they really are making a difference. Others have been highly critical of the video. They feel that its visible message is that we should say “yes” to everyone who comes our way, forsaking our own needs until we fall into the couch depleted and depressed at the end of the day. They fear the message is that it is right for women to sacrifice endlessly, even at the expense of their own peace. What diverse perspectives! Between these two extremes, surely there were many others who had mixed feelings about the video, and probably some who didn’t relate to it at all. The diversity of emotions and opinions over this one video is a microcosm of our general experience as a worldwide church. One video — one scripture, one church practice, one Sunday School lesson, one comment in the hallway — will almost never be received the same way by two different people. In a global church that spans every ethnicity, every class, every race and every gender, it is inevitable that our opinions will be diverse and sometimes even polarized. Neylan McBaine writes in Women At Church, “As brothers and sisters accountable for each other, we should not confuse diversity with disunity. Disunity is a destructive factionalizing that occurs when pride is put before loyalty” (Women at Church, p. 19). How do we foster unity in the face of diversity? We must invite all voices to the table, try to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, and not shame or silence anyone who has a different perspective than ourselves. We must listen, and we must not be afraid to speak. When necessary, we must offer correction to each other with sensitivity to the journeys that brought us to our varied conclusions. We must be aware of each other’s journeys. Above all, we must not worry that we will fall apart if we are not united in every interpretation, or if we experience the Church in different ways. The new video undoubtedly did some good on its own, and perhaps caused some hurt, but it is our conversation about it that matters: our diverse perspectives, when shared respectfully, open the door to growth for all of us. In what ways is your ward or stake diverse? In what ways is it unified? How is there room for multiple interpretations (of a video, a scripture, a doctrine) in a church that we call “true?” Does it make us relativists to accept, or even invite diverse points of view? What is your response to the video?

The Gospel Doctrine lesson #26  manual objective is “To encourage class members to strengthen their conversion and increase their desire to help others become converted.” Our Objective To explore what it means to be truly converted and how that can help us be kinder. Commentary So much of the Book of Mormon seems to be about conflict. And if there is anything I need to have less of in my life, it’s contention and the loss of the Spirit that comes with that. In reading through the lesson, I had three thoughts on how to be truly converted and how that can help me be kinder. #1 Laying Down Our Weapons Alma 23:7 “For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not flight against God anymore, neither against any of their brethren (or sisters).” (Parenthesis added. Obviously.) This scripture refers to people laying down real weapons such as swords and bows and pickaxes and whatever else they used. But I know over the years I have collected plenty of weapons in my own personal arsenal: sarcasm, snottiness, cold shoulder, the evil eye, poking, arrogance, and the list goes on. Reading this scripture made me realize that I needed to learn to lay down these weapons and not fight with God or anyone. That can be hard. I live in India and there is nothing that gets me snottier faster than a dishonest rickshaw driver. Just yesterday one quoted an almost triple the price and refused to use his meter. My weapons kicked in and I was super snotty in response. Why? I could have just said no thank you and walked away…but I got mad. And so while he loses out on a fare, I lose out on a little shine on my sunny soul. I’ve got to work harder to lay down my weapons. If I am truly converted then I will be nice to everyone— even dishonest rickshaw drivers. #2 Fight as Dance In researching artists for Girls Who Choose God and the family book coming out in October 2016, I stumbled across this painting by Cassandra Barney . When I read about what the artist had in mind, it struck a deep chord. I tried to edit her words down, but, truly, she (and her gallery) says it better: “‘If there is no opposition, nothing to push against, we would merely float. If that was the case, how would we grow?’ begins Cassandra. ‘How can we know joy if we never know pain? We all have our issues to contend with and it is through that conflict that personal growth is found. Reward comes from engaging in challenges, finding solutions and learning endurance.’ At the same time, is it necessary that this process of resolving has to be a fight? By changing our perspective, could we see those challenges another way? What if instead of fighting through life, we dance? ‘And Then They Danced’ is a painting about finding beauty in the battle. The figure chooses this dance, aware and onstage, sharing her conquest and what she is to gain. ‘Bullfighting is traditional, dangerous and potentially beautiful but cruel. If I were a matador, I would rather dance. I would turn that fight into something beautiful.” If we see conflict as something beneficial and something to learn how to dance through, something that can actually bring us closer to God and being God-like, then I think we can continue on our path of being truly convert. #3 Patience in Process When I first moved to India, I was consistently frustrated by my inability to get things done. When I was chatting with a friend who had worked in international development for years, she laughed and told me I was expecting too much. “Get two things done a day,” was her advice. I now find that the combination of new baby AND living in a developing country means that even two is ambitious. The truth is…most progress is slow and steady. Or slow and erratic. And while that is hard for my personality, if we want to become more godlike that process is as relentless as a newborn in India. So, having some patience with the process is in order. You’ll be pleased to know the same day I wrote this I had another attempt at using a rickshaw with the same frustrating dishonesty. I whirled away in anger but then remembered this very post…I took a deep breath and turned back to say, “Being dishonest is not acceptable and so I choose to take another vehicle.” I was almost nice. The people in the Book of Mormon were willing to die to keep their covenant…perhaps I should be will to lose a few rupees. Being truly converted is a work in progress! Related Mormon Women Project Interviews The Power of A Snowflakes , Bonnie Ballif-Spanvill We’ve moved away from the collective forum of formal violence like world wars. We don’t do that anymore. But we have so much informal, personal, neighbor-against-neighbor, intimate, family, bullying in schoolyards violence. These things can be fought at a personal level if we give our children the tools to teach them. That is the major challenge of the 21st century: to stop violence. Violence begins in the mind, long before weapons are fired or abuse is afflicted. So preventing violence also has to take place in the mind.Just as women are in the most vulnerable position during wars, they are also in a key position to lead this challenge against violence. They are with their little children before those children are socialized to hate. And if they could get started teaching peace, not just one woman with one child, but dozens of women with dozens of children, and hundreds of women and millions of women…I get a little emotional. We’ve got to figure out a way to fill the world with these abilities. Women have got to believe they can change the young hearts around them, and that if they do so, the momentum will build and peace will ripple through homes and neighborhoods and even countries. Peace will triumph, quietly and tenderly. Loving Through Language , Maria Babin We’re still living our religion and we’re creating harmony in our family, and that’s what’s most important. For me, living our religion means living a Christ-like life, a Christ-centered life. It’s treating each other with love and kindness and learning to love each other. Other Related Women’s Voices Your Holey Places , Ann M. Dibb Remember This: Kindness Begins with Me , Mary N. Cook I would like to invite each of you to do at least one Samaritan-like act this coming week. It may require that you reach beyond your usual friends or overcome your shyness. You may courageously choose to serve someone who doesn’t treat you well. I promise that if you will extend yourself beyond what is easy to do, you will feel so good inside that kindness will start to become a part of your everyday life. You’ll see that benevolence can bring joy and unity to your home, your class, your ward, and your school.’“Remember this: kindness begins with me.’ Now Is the Time to Arise and Shine Forth , Elaine S. Dalton A group of youth in Queen Creek, Arizona, determined to ‘arise and shine forth’ and to lead the youth in their community in living the standards in For the Strength of Youth. They each wrote something that they felt was holding them back or something they wanted to change in their lives in their journals, and then they literally dug a hole. They came together, tore out the journal page, and threw it into the hole in the earth, just like the people of Ammon did in the Book of Mormon with their weapons of war. Then they buried those pages, and that day they each made a commitment to change. They repented. They determined to arise! Looking for additional perspectives on this lesson? We recommend Mormon Sunday School , Meridian Magazine  and LDSLiving .