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Due to an early childhood sexual experience, I did not consider myself clean before the Lord—especially when I recited the Young Women’s motto each week during church. This lead to my not valuing my virtue, and being raped by a recent convert to the Church. This is how I began my sexual life.

I was raised in an LDS home with good parents. Life hit hard for me in my early years. From the ages of 8-12, I was repeatedly sexually abused by a neighborhood family. At age 13, my father suddenly died of a brain aneurysm. Within a year of his death, my mother remarried. My abuse, my father’s death and my mother’s new marriage brought chaos, confusion and heartache in my teenage years, and I was unable to completely process all the traumatic events that had taken hold of my

In this episode, Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye chats with Meredith Nelson about her recent book, Crossings: A Bald Asian American Latter-day Saint Woman Scholar’s Ventures Through Life, Death, Cancer, and Motherhood (Not Necessarily In That Order), published as part of the BYU Maxwell Institute’s Living Faith series. Her book is a compilation of contemplative and scholarly essays on faith and the Church organization, of family newsletters, song lyrics, and playful doodles, and of

On April 6, 1994, the airplane carrying the Presidents of Rwanda and Burundi was shot down over Kigali. That moment was like “oil on fire,” setting off the devastating Rwandan Genocide. Yvonne Baraketse’s father, Chief of Staff of the Rwandan army, was also on the airplane and killed in the attack. Yvonne was 14 years old. Her immediate family lost many relatives and friends in the violent aftermath, managing themselves to escape to Belgium. Although prayer had sustained her

Emily Bates suffered severe migraines from a young age, leading her to pursue a career in science in order to study the genetic causes of the condition. She now is an associate professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, and runs a lab studying the molecular mechanisms of birth defects. Emily has led groundbreaking discoveries in the field of genetics, overcoming dyslexia, cultural pressures, and self-doubt along the way. She feels that God has led her from th

Kristin Hodson is the founder and executive director of The Healing Group. As a LCSW and Certified Sex Therapist, she specializes in maternal mental health and healthy sexuality. In this interview she discusses issues regarding sexuality that are unique to conservative religious cultures, developing the confidence and skills to talk with our kids about intimacy, how we can better identify and support mothers who might be struggling with postpartum depression, and the importan

Leslie Schwartz-Leeper’s parents divorced when she was very young. Her mother raised her six children by herself, and taught them that the bottom line of the gospel is love. Leslie always had a testimony, but drifted in and out of the Church through her teen and young adult years. In her early thirties, she married Ian, a non-believer of Jewish/Episcopalian heritage, at the same time as she returned to the Church. Leslie talks about her positive experience undergoing a Church

I was the girl who dreamed of getting married at 18 in the temple and having six kids. I did not imagine I’d ever be still single and old enough to serve a mission. Lucky for me, the Lord had different plans for me—I think the Lord knew that I needed a little more preparation for what he had in store for me and my life. I ended up serving a mission in Salt Lake City, and spent the entire time on the east side, serving in suburban areas much like the one I grew up in.

I was raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I sang songs about marrying in the temple in primary. I learned that a “celestial marriage” meant that I would marry a man who held the Priesthood, and was worthy of that Priesthood as a member of the same church. Both of my parents were members and I remember walking to church together, sharing traditions of reading scriptures together (sometimes), family prayer (sometimes), and praying before every me

As I reflect back on those impressionable years between the ages of 12-18, I fondly recall having very real desires and aspirations to heed the counsel of my young women leaders, when the time was right, to choose a man who could take me to the temple. And I did. My first marriage was in fact a temple marriage. But like many temples marriages, unfortunately mine ended in divorce. I was six months pregnant with our son when I separated from my then husband.

I asked a friend for a blessing when I was considering getting engaged to my husband. I was told that I had made countless good decisions in my life leading up to that point, and that God trusted my ability to make a good decision here too.

Perhaps my patriarchal blessing was subtly preparing me for this life; at age 14, I was told that I would be the spiritual leader of my home. As this was given 30 years ago, that was a surprise. It was just assumed that the father in the family would be the leader.

My husband and I have been married for nine years. The Church was extremely important to him when we were dating and engaged, and during the first few years of our marriage. He loved serving in the church, attending the temple, and especially had a deep testimony of the importance of reading your scriptures regularly and paying tithing.

My husband and I met while we were both new teachers at an inner-city high school in Las Vegas. We were young, inexperienced, and frustrated. We were transplants: Christian from Kentucky, I from Utah/Oregon. We fell in love quickly. He was my life raft at a time when I was doggie-paddling across a turbulent ocean.

My first boyfriend was a poster child for the church: intelligent, active, and preparing to serve a mission. He’d shaken the hand of the prophet and held several youth leadership roles. He sexually assaulted me before and after his mission. He now serves as a bishop.